Live In My Memory Chapter Eight
Later that day once I'm finally able to function without the results of drinking too much kicking my ass, I bundle both of the kids up and decide to take them to the park. It's cold but Junia needs something to do to get her pent up energy out. She also needs something to do besides talking about how she talked to Zac again last night.
It's not that I don't like that she talks to Zac because I do. What gets me this time is the fact that she says he gave her the new doll she has been playing with all morning. Now to be honest I don't really remember packing that doll or her even having it to begin with but I know there is no logical way that Zac gave Junia that doll last night.
Sitting down on a bench I watch Junia run off to the slides a smile crossing my face as I park Bree's stroller in front of me. I would have taken her to the swings but she has chosen now to fall asleep for her nap. It figures she'd chose to fall asleep right as we got to the park.
I'm not sure how long I'm sitting on the park bench until I hear Shepherd's voice call out for Junia before I see him run over to the slides where she is at. If I had known Kate was going to come here today I probably would have opted out of this park trip.
"There you are," Kate nods giving me a smile as she sits down next to me. "I was looking for you. I went by your parents but your mom said you took the girls to the park," Kate rambles a hand running through her long hair. She is being unusually nice and it scares the fuck out of me.
"Here I am," I force a smile. "Why were you looking for me?" I ask my eyebrow raising curiously.
Kate swallows hard, her eyes training into mine, "Shepherd said he saw Zac last night," Kate informs me and I feel my body get colder, much colder than it really is. "He kept going on and on about it at breakfast, hell he even has a toy I know I didn't buy him Avery. He says the toy came from Zac."
Looking away from Kate I run a hand through my hair now. Shepherd's story matches Junia down to a t. They both have toys they say that Zac gave them last night. But how the hell is that possible? How could Zac have given them toys last night? Zac is dead, he has been dead for a year now. It's something I have tried to come to terms with though a part of me still misses him like crazy, still feels as if he were alive but I know that's not possible.
"Junia has a toy too," I tell Kate finally able to speak. "She says it came from Zac."
Kate pales at my information, "Shit," she whispers shaking her head. "But there is no way," she frowns. "I mean I saw his...I think I saw his...fuck," she curses one last time.
I'm sure if I could see my own face right now it would be one of confusion. Kate rarely cusses. Not since she found God after marrying Zac. So to hear her using such language now is astounding and new. Have I died and woken up in some alternate reality?
"Think you saw his what?" I ask her confused by what she is trying to say.
Kate turns away from me, her eyes staring at the kids now, "I think I saw his body," she whispers and I feel my heart stop beating. "The day in the studio. I showed up after Taylor texted me," Kate reveals telling me things I hadn't know. "I went to the office, the door was cracked but I could see the blood on the wall from the crack and what looked like his arm on the table. That's all I could stand to see. The blood on the wall was just too much for me."
Taking in what Kate is saying I shake my head, "You never opened the door?" I ask her clearly shocked by her revelation. I don't blame her for not opening the door or seeing the body. I'm not sure I could see it either, but I do blame her for lying about things. I blame her for making it out like she saw Zac's body when she didn't. "How could you lie about such things? I mean you made everyone believe you saw his body."
Kate shrugs and it's then I notice her tears, "I just wanted people to feel even more sorry for me Avery," she finally speaks. "Everyone knew I was divorcing him, everyone but you of course. I knew they'd all blame me for his death so I wanted sympathy and I let them believe I found his body. Taylor wasn't around to correct me."
At her words I shake my head, "You are pathetic," I tell her honestly. "I knew that when you blackmailed me to leave my own daughter but this, this is new," I sigh before shutting my eyes.
"The Junia thing was a lie too Avery," Kate whispers her voice cracking. "Natalie and I we made up the plan together. It was my idea but she wrote the false letter about me going to child protective services. Her mom helped her make it look legit."
Closing my eyes tighter I feel a lump form in my throat, "You lied to me," I say my voice coming out strangled as tears go down my cheeks. "You robbed me of a life with Zac and Junia. I missed having a family with the man I love because of you," I frown as I open my eyes and wipe away my tears. "And because of you I can't get that back either. Zac is dead now so even if we wanted too we couldn't be together."
"I know that," Kate speaks her voice low. "I'm sorry Avery. I know it's too late for it but I am. I'm sorry for all my lies."
Laughing some I look at her curiously, "Why are you telling the truth now? Why now?"
Kate looks down at her pocketbook that is resting on her lap, "I got a letter yesterday. Someone knew all of my secrets. They had a copy of the letter Pam faked. They said if I didn't tell the truth, didn't reveal all of my lies that I would lose Shepherd. They would make me lose him for taking Junia away from you."
At the mention of her getting a letter I sigh, "It seems everyone seems to be getting letters lately," I tell Kate before standing up and grabbing a hold of Bree's stroller. Hollering for Junia I watch as she runs over to me. When she reaches me I bend down to her level and tell her to say goodbye to Kate for now. That we have to get back to Grandma and Grandpa's.
Watching as Junia does as told. I take her hand once she is finished and I lead her back to the car while pushing Bree with my free hand. Making it to the car I open the backseat, first putting Junia in and then Bree. Once both girls are in then I load the stroller up.
Getting in myself I see my cell phone in the cup holder. It's lit up so I know I have text messages. Picking up the phone I soon open my messages seeing three from a number I don't recognize. Clicking the first one I see that it's telling me that my husband is in the hospital. Clicking the second one I get the same message along with a please get here asap. When I click the third it's just a get here asap along with a woman's name. Heather. I don't know who Heather is but I get the feeling she is probably Mike's wife.
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Two hours later I find myself running the halls of the main hospital close to where Carrick and I live in Oklahoma City. When I get to the waiting room I hear someone calling my name and turn to look seeing a slutty brunette walking my way.
"I was wondering if you were going to make it," Heather or at least I hope she is Heather snaps at me. "Carrick bless his soul wanted his wife here for him, though I told him I'd be okay being here for him. That he didn't need you."
Glaring at Heather I shake my head, "Sorry, I had my kids at the park and my phone was in the car. After I got your messages though I dropped the kids off at my parents and got here as quick as I could. What happened?" I ask not sure why he is in the hospital."
Heather frowns as if even remembering it is too painful for her, "W..we were at your house. We had just finished..you know," she shrugs. "There was a knock at the door so Carebaby went to go and get it. The next thing I know is hearing yelling and things breaking. When I heard the gunshot, that's when I got scared and went downstairs. By that time the person was leaving. I just watched them drive off in a blue truck," she stops long enough to breath. "Carebaby was lying on the floor with a gunshot wound to his arm. He said the person wasn't trying to hurt him, just rough him up and teach him a lesson. They didn't like that he was still fucking me. Apparently they had been watching the house all day and saw me show up."
Hearing the part about the blue truck all I can think of is Sam. Sam shot Carrick but why, why would he care if Carrick was cheating on me? Why is Sam so obsessed with me? Why would Sam watch our house...why would he even blind fold me? The only one with answers though is Taylor. Taylor is after all friends with him.
"Can I see Carrick?" I ask Heather who nods.
"He is in room 203. They already did surgery to get the bullet out," Heather calls out after I start walking away.
I just roll my eyes at her words. Making it to Carrick's room by power walking I open the door and watch as he opens his eyes when he hears the door shut behind me.
"Avery," Carrick smiles sitting up slowly. "I wasn't sure you would come."
I roll my eyes again, sitting down in a chair beside his bed, "I shouldn't have came. I mean your brunette slut would have done a brilliant job standing in for me," I tell him as my voice turns cold. "Why are you still fucking her? I mean I thought your text yesterday..I thought maybe you would stop."
Carrick frowns, reaching for me hand, "It was one relapse," he justifies. "I was scared once you saw him I'd lose you. I can never hold a candle to your brothers, especially him."
"Taylor?" I ask confused. I feel Carrick squeeze my hand and I squeeze back not sure why I am being affectionate with him. "Trust me I wouldn't have sex with Taylor again," I reassure him. I'm too mad at Taylor over the Bree custody thing to have sex with him again, even if I did think of him during sex with Sam. "And you should know I'd chose you over Taylor any day."
Carrick looks at me confused, "Not Taylor," he sighs looking down. "Zac."
The moment he mentions Zac I let go of his hand, "Zac's dead," I tell him. I know Kate hadn't seen his body but Taylor had. Taylor wouldn't lie to everyone.
"Trust me Avie, I don't know how or why but Zac has been on our porch twice now. He has roughed me up twice because I'm cheating on you, the woman he loves," Carrick whispers his eye going to my hand where I wear the ring he gave me on our wedding day. "The woman I love too."
Hearing him say that Zac has been on our porch twice I stand up from the chair, "You said Taylor did that," I snap feeling angry at him for even trying to tell me Zac is alive. He isn't, he is dead. "Stop fucking lying," I yell before turning to leave his hospital room.
I don't look back once at all after leaving his room. I just continue walking until I make it to my car where I get in and break down in tears. Why is everyone seeing Zac lately or saying they have seen him. He is dead and he isn't coming back.
"Why can't I see you?" I finally ask through my tears. "Why can't I see you Zac? Show yourself to me."
Hearing a knock on the window I jump, turning my head to see Taylor's blue eyes staring at me through the glass of my car window. How did he know to be at the hospital here in Oklahoma City?
Later that day once I'm finally able to function without the results of drinking too much kicking my ass, I bundle both of the kids up and decide to take them to the park. It's cold but Junia needs something to do to get her pent up energy out. She also needs something to do besides talking about how she talked to Zac again last night.
It's not that I don't like that she talks to Zac because I do. What gets me this time is the fact that she says he gave her the new doll she has been playing with all morning. Now to be honest I don't really remember packing that doll or her even having it to begin with but I know there is no logical way that Zac gave Junia that doll last night.
Sitting down on a bench I watch Junia run off to the slides a smile crossing my face as I park Bree's stroller in front of me. I would have taken her to the swings but she has chosen now to fall asleep for her nap. It figures she'd chose to fall asleep right as we got to the park.
I'm not sure how long I'm sitting on the park bench until I hear Shepherd's voice call out for Junia before I see him run over to the slides where she is at. If I had known Kate was going to come here today I probably would have opted out of this park trip.
"There you are," Kate nods giving me a smile as she sits down next to me. "I was looking for you. I went by your parents but your mom said you took the girls to the park," Kate rambles a hand running through her long hair. She is being unusually nice and it scares the fuck out of me.
"Here I am," I force a smile. "Why were you looking for me?" I ask my eyebrow raising curiously.
Kate swallows hard, her eyes training into mine, "Shepherd said he saw Zac last night," Kate informs me and I feel my body get colder, much colder than it really is. "He kept going on and on about it at breakfast, hell he even has a toy I know I didn't buy him Avery. He says the toy came from Zac."
Looking away from Kate I run a hand through my hair now. Shepherd's story matches Junia down to a t. They both have toys they say that Zac gave them last night. But how the hell is that possible? How could Zac have given them toys last night? Zac is dead, he has been dead for a year now. It's something I have tried to come to terms with though a part of me still misses him like crazy, still feels as if he were alive but I know that's not possible.
"Junia has a toy too," I tell Kate finally able to speak. "She says it came from Zac."
Kate pales at my information, "Shit," she whispers shaking her head. "But there is no way," she frowns. "I mean I saw his...I think I saw his...fuck," she curses one last time.
I'm sure if I could see my own face right now it would be one of confusion. Kate rarely cusses. Not since she found God after marrying Zac. So to hear her using such language now is astounding and new. Have I died and woken up in some alternate reality?
"Think you saw his what?" I ask her confused by what she is trying to say.
Kate turns away from me, her eyes staring at the kids now, "I think I saw his body," she whispers and I feel my heart stop beating. "The day in the studio. I showed up after Taylor texted me," Kate reveals telling me things I hadn't know. "I went to the office, the door was cracked but I could see the blood on the wall from the crack and what looked like his arm on the table. That's all I could stand to see. The blood on the wall was just too much for me."
Taking in what Kate is saying I shake my head, "You never opened the door?" I ask her clearly shocked by her revelation. I don't blame her for not opening the door or seeing the body. I'm not sure I could see it either, but I do blame her for lying about things. I blame her for making it out like she saw Zac's body when she didn't. "How could you lie about such things? I mean you made everyone believe you saw his body."
Kate shrugs and it's then I notice her tears, "I just wanted people to feel even more sorry for me Avery," she finally speaks. "Everyone knew I was divorcing him, everyone but you of course. I knew they'd all blame me for his death so I wanted sympathy and I let them believe I found his body. Taylor wasn't around to correct me."
At her words I shake my head, "You are pathetic," I tell her honestly. "I knew that when you blackmailed me to leave my own daughter but this, this is new," I sigh before shutting my eyes.
"The Junia thing was a lie too Avery," Kate whispers her voice cracking. "Natalie and I we made up the plan together. It was my idea but she wrote the false letter about me going to child protective services. Her mom helped her make it look legit."
Closing my eyes tighter I feel a lump form in my throat, "You lied to me," I say my voice coming out strangled as tears go down my cheeks. "You robbed me of a life with Zac and Junia. I missed having a family with the man I love because of you," I frown as I open my eyes and wipe away my tears. "And because of you I can't get that back either. Zac is dead now so even if we wanted too we couldn't be together."
"I know that," Kate speaks her voice low. "I'm sorry Avery. I know it's too late for it but I am. I'm sorry for all my lies."
Laughing some I look at her curiously, "Why are you telling the truth now? Why now?"
Kate looks down at her pocketbook that is resting on her lap, "I got a letter yesterday. Someone knew all of my secrets. They had a copy of the letter Pam faked. They said if I didn't tell the truth, didn't reveal all of my lies that I would lose Shepherd. They would make me lose him for taking Junia away from you."
At the mention of her getting a letter I sigh, "It seems everyone seems to be getting letters lately," I tell Kate before standing up and grabbing a hold of Bree's stroller. Hollering for Junia I watch as she runs over to me. When she reaches me I bend down to her level and tell her to say goodbye to Kate for now. That we have to get back to Grandma and Grandpa's.
Watching as Junia does as told. I take her hand once she is finished and I lead her back to the car while pushing Bree with my free hand. Making it to the car I open the backseat, first putting Junia in and then Bree. Once both girls are in then I load the stroller up.
Getting in myself I see my cell phone in the cup holder. It's lit up so I know I have text messages. Picking up the phone I soon open my messages seeing three from a number I don't recognize. Clicking the first one I see that it's telling me that my husband is in the hospital. Clicking the second one I get the same message along with a please get here asap. When I click the third it's just a get here asap along with a woman's name. Heather. I don't know who Heather is but I get the feeling she is probably Mike's wife.
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Two hours later I find myself running the halls of the main hospital close to where Carrick and I live in Oklahoma City. When I get to the waiting room I hear someone calling my name and turn to look seeing a slutty brunette walking my way.
"I was wondering if you were going to make it," Heather or at least I hope she is Heather snaps at me. "Carrick bless his soul wanted his wife here for him, though I told him I'd be okay being here for him. That he didn't need you."
Glaring at Heather I shake my head, "Sorry, I had my kids at the park and my phone was in the car. After I got your messages though I dropped the kids off at my parents and got here as quick as I could. What happened?" I ask not sure why he is in the hospital."
Heather frowns as if even remembering it is too painful for her, "W..we were at your house. We had just finished..you know," she shrugs. "There was a knock at the door so Carebaby went to go and get it. The next thing I know is hearing yelling and things breaking. When I heard the gunshot, that's when I got scared and went downstairs. By that time the person was leaving. I just watched them drive off in a blue truck," she stops long enough to breath. "Carebaby was lying on the floor with a gunshot wound to his arm. He said the person wasn't trying to hurt him, just rough him up and teach him a lesson. They didn't like that he was still fucking me. Apparently they had been watching the house all day and saw me show up."
Hearing the part about the blue truck all I can think of is Sam. Sam shot Carrick but why, why would he care if Carrick was cheating on me? Why is Sam so obsessed with me? Why would Sam watch our house...why would he even blind fold me? The only one with answers though is Taylor. Taylor is after all friends with him.
"Can I see Carrick?" I ask Heather who nods.
"He is in room 203. They already did surgery to get the bullet out," Heather calls out after I start walking away.
I just roll my eyes at her words. Making it to Carrick's room by power walking I open the door and watch as he opens his eyes when he hears the door shut behind me.
"Avery," Carrick smiles sitting up slowly. "I wasn't sure you would come."
I roll my eyes again, sitting down in a chair beside his bed, "I shouldn't have came. I mean your brunette slut would have done a brilliant job standing in for me," I tell him as my voice turns cold. "Why are you still fucking her? I mean I thought your text yesterday..I thought maybe you would stop."
Carrick frowns, reaching for me hand, "It was one relapse," he justifies. "I was scared once you saw him I'd lose you. I can never hold a candle to your brothers, especially him."
"Taylor?" I ask confused. I feel Carrick squeeze my hand and I squeeze back not sure why I am being affectionate with him. "Trust me I wouldn't have sex with Taylor again," I reassure him. I'm too mad at Taylor over the Bree custody thing to have sex with him again, even if I did think of him during sex with Sam. "And you should know I'd chose you over Taylor any day."
Carrick looks at me confused, "Not Taylor," he sighs looking down. "Zac."
The moment he mentions Zac I let go of his hand, "Zac's dead," I tell him. I know Kate hadn't seen his body but Taylor had. Taylor wouldn't lie to everyone.
"Trust me Avie, I don't know how or why but Zac has been on our porch twice now. He has roughed me up twice because I'm cheating on you, the woman he loves," Carrick whispers his eye going to my hand where I wear the ring he gave me on our wedding day. "The woman I love too."
Hearing him say that Zac has been on our porch twice I stand up from the chair, "You said Taylor did that," I snap feeling angry at him for even trying to tell me Zac is alive. He isn't, he is dead. "Stop fucking lying," I yell before turning to leave his hospital room.
I don't look back once at all after leaving his room. I just continue walking until I make it to my car where I get in and break down in tears. Why is everyone seeing Zac lately or saying they have seen him. He is dead and he isn't coming back.
"Why can't I see you?" I finally ask through my tears. "Why can't I see you Zac? Show yourself to me."
Hearing a knock on the window I jump, turning my head to see Taylor's blue eyes staring at me through the glass of my car window. How did he know to be at the hospital here in Oklahoma City?