Live In My Memory Chapter Eleven
The days after Christmas seem to run in a blur. I don't see Zac for several days especially while I have Taylor and my father help me move my things into the apartment that Zac had leased for me. Once everything is settled though I am sure I will hear from him again.
That's why when someone knocks on my door two days before New Years I'm certain it's him but when I open it to find Carrick I raise an eyebrow but move out of the way so he can come in.
"I umm I filed for divorce," Carrick states handing me some papers. "And I'm also suing for custody of Brennan," he tells me so cold that I almost feel like a stranger is standing in front of me. "I know Taylor is suing too for a DNA test and also for custody but I'm willing to fight him as well, especially since I'm legally Brennan's father. Do you think a judge will really give you Brennan once he knows that she is Taylor's? That you had sex with your own brother?"
Standing there in shock I lay the papers down on the counter, "Do you think you will win custody once they know you aren't her father Carrick?" I ask him feeling angry. "Do you think any judge will give you Bree once they know you have no ties to her biologically? I mean I could always bring up your adultery Carrick. In some courts that would make you an unfit parent."
Carrick laughs softly, "Do you really wanna play dirty Ave?" he asks me as he glares. "Cause I can bring up the fact that you have cheated since you have been here. I can bring up you fucking both of your brothers again," he smirks like a cherisher cat. "Face it, you and Taylor are both going to lose Brennan," he tells me before turning on his heels and leaving, slamming the door behind him.
After he slams the door Bree starts crying from her nursery and I glare at the door as if it's Carrick. If looks could kill Carrick would have been dead had he been that door right now.
Going into the nursery I pick Bree up from her crib, rocking her on my hip, "I'm sorry Carrick woke you up," I tell her as I kiss her cheek softly hearing her calm but not enough. I know if she keeps crying she is going to wake Junia up from her nap and that's the last thing I want.
"Come on how about mama fixes you a bottle?" I ask Bree as I walk into the kitchen with her on my hip. "You want a bottle?" I ask making a face at her. My making a face gets her to giggle slightly while I get the stuff to make her bottle for her.
While I am making it she starts to cry again and I frown. Before I can get the bottle finished another knock comes on the door and I roll my eyes, taking Bree with me to go and get it. Opening the door I glare when I come face to face with Zac, "I thought I told you to have a nice life with Sadie. I thought you'd get the hint I never wanted to see you again."
Zac rolls his eyes, "I missed you," he tells me not even waiting for me to let him in. He just pushes his way inside. "You need help?" he asks taking Bree from me and making funny faces to her which just makes her giggle.
I glare more but shut the door behind me, "I could use you entertaining her while I fix her bottle," I concede before walking to the kitchen again. "And you may have missed me but you brought that on yourself," I tell him knowing it's his fault I don't want anything to do with him. "You lied to me and made me believe you were dead."
I feel Zac following behind me but he says nothing coherent. Instead he just babbles to Bree who keeps giggling at what he says. It sort of reminded me of when Taylor did that the day he found out Bree was his. Maybe Zac and Taylor are more alike than I'd like to admit.
Finishing the bottle I turn around to hand it to Zac but stop when I see him sitting in a chair with Bree. Both of them engaged in some kind of babble conversation that no one but them can understand. "I should have got to see you like this with Junia," I sigh as I hand the bottle to him and watch as he takes it, feeding Bree for me. "We should have raised her together."
"We could be raising her now," Zac chimes in locking eyes with me. "We could be raising her now along with Bree. I'd take Bree on as my step-daughter. Hell we could also make another baby too and maybe get a boy this time," he laughs but not once does he look away from me. "I ended things with Sadie. I told her everything. She wanted to try being together still but I couldn't do it. Not when I still love you."
Shaking my head I break our eye contact, "It's not that simple as you loving me Zac. You may love me but you still lied. You hurt me and made me grieve for you. I can't just forget that and be with you like nothing changed. Like everything is fine because it isn't fine."
Zac frowns and I see him open his mouth and start to say something but he is stopped when we both hear little feet coming down the hallway. Junia is up from her nap now. There will be no more argument over what Zac has done or why I can't just forgive him.
"Daddy," Junia says excitedly when she walks into the kitchen. I watch her walk over to Zac and Bree a frown coming on her face when she sees her daddy can't pick her up now. "Why you holding Bree for? She's not your little girl?"
"I'm holding her because your mommy asked me too," Zac tells Junia as he moves Bree on his other leg. "You can get up here too baby girl," he says patting his free leg now.
I can't help but laugh when I watch Junia hesitantly climb up but glare at Bree once she has. It seems she doesn't like the idea of sharing Zac with someone else, well besides Shepherd though she claims Shepherd shares him with her.
"Can mommy take Bree now?" Junia asks looking at me frowning some. "I don't want you holding her daddy," she pouts, crossing her arms.
Laughing more I go over to take Bree from Zac, "Is that better?" I ask Junia who just grins as she moves into the other leg as well.
Junia nods her head, "I don't like sharing my daddy like I share my mommy," she tells me so matter of fact.
Sitting down at the table I just eye Zac remembering what he said about us trying for another baby if I took him back. "What if mommy and daddy have another baby?" I ask curiously wondering what she will say to that.
Junia goes silent for a while as if she is contemplating her answer then she shakes her head no, "No," she speaks turning to wrap her arms around Zac's neck. "No baby. I wanna be daddy's baby."
Zac laughs now, holding Junia to him, "You will always be my baby regardless of me having another one," he smiles rubbing her back softly.
I can't help but smile as well. I know Zac may have lied about his death which is keeping me from going back to him but I could never, would never deny him the right to see Junia who doesn't seem to be affected by Zac's lie and his suddenly coming back.
Zac puts Junia down after a while telling her to run off and play in her room. She obeys him leaving us in the kitchen with Bree who seems to have dozed off in my arms. "Would you have another baby with me?" Zac asks as he looks at me again. "I mean you asked Junia that question."
I shrug, "I can't think of having another baby. Not when Carrick is threatening to take Brennan away from me now too."
"Carrick is what?" Zac asks through clenched teeth.
"He came by today to give me divorce papers along with telling me he is taking me to court for custody of Brennan. He knows that Taylor is trying to get custody too as well as proving that he is her daddy but I guess Carrick is going to try to fight that."
Zac glares before standing from the chair, "I'll fucking take care of him," he mutters leaving the kitchen without saying another word to me. When I hear the front door slam shut I jump slightly in my chair.
Standing from the chair eventually I go and put Bree down in her crib again before deciding to clean up some. It's about dinner time when I have another knock on my door which I go to answer. Finding Taylor there I roll my eyes, "What is this the universe trying to kill me?" I ask ignoring his confused face.
"Zac told me to come be with you right now," Taylor shrugs before pushing his way past me. "Apparently he thinks we're both going to need alibis."
I look at him confused now, "Alibi's for what?" I ask him after I shut the door.
Taylor shrugs almost as confused as I am, "He didn't say. He just said for me to come be with you and the kids. To give you an alibi and me as well."
Nodding I hear a timer going off, "Well in that case you better stay for dinner. I hope you don't mind boxed lasagna for dinner."
Hearing Taylor laughing but not complaining I walk into the kitchen and get the lasagna out of the oven. I'm glad Taylor unlike Carrick doesn't complain about my boxed food even if he doesn't like the idea of it. Even if it's not homemade cooking like he would make.
The days after Christmas seem to run in a blur. I don't see Zac for several days especially while I have Taylor and my father help me move my things into the apartment that Zac had leased for me. Once everything is settled though I am sure I will hear from him again.
That's why when someone knocks on my door two days before New Years I'm certain it's him but when I open it to find Carrick I raise an eyebrow but move out of the way so he can come in.
"I umm I filed for divorce," Carrick states handing me some papers. "And I'm also suing for custody of Brennan," he tells me so cold that I almost feel like a stranger is standing in front of me. "I know Taylor is suing too for a DNA test and also for custody but I'm willing to fight him as well, especially since I'm legally Brennan's father. Do you think a judge will really give you Brennan once he knows that she is Taylor's? That you had sex with your own brother?"
Standing there in shock I lay the papers down on the counter, "Do you think you will win custody once they know you aren't her father Carrick?" I ask him feeling angry. "Do you think any judge will give you Bree once they know you have no ties to her biologically? I mean I could always bring up your adultery Carrick. In some courts that would make you an unfit parent."
Carrick laughs softly, "Do you really wanna play dirty Ave?" he asks me as he glares. "Cause I can bring up the fact that you have cheated since you have been here. I can bring up you fucking both of your brothers again," he smirks like a cherisher cat. "Face it, you and Taylor are both going to lose Brennan," he tells me before turning on his heels and leaving, slamming the door behind him.
After he slams the door Bree starts crying from her nursery and I glare at the door as if it's Carrick. If looks could kill Carrick would have been dead had he been that door right now.
Going into the nursery I pick Bree up from her crib, rocking her on my hip, "I'm sorry Carrick woke you up," I tell her as I kiss her cheek softly hearing her calm but not enough. I know if she keeps crying she is going to wake Junia up from her nap and that's the last thing I want.
"Come on how about mama fixes you a bottle?" I ask Bree as I walk into the kitchen with her on my hip. "You want a bottle?" I ask making a face at her. My making a face gets her to giggle slightly while I get the stuff to make her bottle for her.
While I am making it she starts to cry again and I frown. Before I can get the bottle finished another knock comes on the door and I roll my eyes, taking Bree with me to go and get it. Opening the door I glare when I come face to face with Zac, "I thought I told you to have a nice life with Sadie. I thought you'd get the hint I never wanted to see you again."
Zac rolls his eyes, "I missed you," he tells me not even waiting for me to let him in. He just pushes his way inside. "You need help?" he asks taking Bree from me and making funny faces to her which just makes her giggle.
I glare more but shut the door behind me, "I could use you entertaining her while I fix her bottle," I concede before walking to the kitchen again. "And you may have missed me but you brought that on yourself," I tell him knowing it's his fault I don't want anything to do with him. "You lied to me and made me believe you were dead."
I feel Zac following behind me but he says nothing coherent. Instead he just babbles to Bree who keeps giggling at what he says. It sort of reminded me of when Taylor did that the day he found out Bree was his. Maybe Zac and Taylor are more alike than I'd like to admit.
Finishing the bottle I turn around to hand it to Zac but stop when I see him sitting in a chair with Bree. Both of them engaged in some kind of babble conversation that no one but them can understand. "I should have got to see you like this with Junia," I sigh as I hand the bottle to him and watch as he takes it, feeding Bree for me. "We should have raised her together."
"We could be raising her now," Zac chimes in locking eyes with me. "We could be raising her now along with Bree. I'd take Bree on as my step-daughter. Hell we could also make another baby too and maybe get a boy this time," he laughs but not once does he look away from me. "I ended things with Sadie. I told her everything. She wanted to try being together still but I couldn't do it. Not when I still love you."
Shaking my head I break our eye contact, "It's not that simple as you loving me Zac. You may love me but you still lied. You hurt me and made me grieve for you. I can't just forget that and be with you like nothing changed. Like everything is fine because it isn't fine."
Zac frowns and I see him open his mouth and start to say something but he is stopped when we both hear little feet coming down the hallway. Junia is up from her nap now. There will be no more argument over what Zac has done or why I can't just forgive him.
"Daddy," Junia says excitedly when she walks into the kitchen. I watch her walk over to Zac and Bree a frown coming on her face when she sees her daddy can't pick her up now. "Why you holding Bree for? She's not your little girl?"
"I'm holding her because your mommy asked me too," Zac tells Junia as he moves Bree on his other leg. "You can get up here too baby girl," he says patting his free leg now.
I can't help but laugh when I watch Junia hesitantly climb up but glare at Bree once she has. It seems she doesn't like the idea of sharing Zac with someone else, well besides Shepherd though she claims Shepherd shares him with her.
"Can mommy take Bree now?" Junia asks looking at me frowning some. "I don't want you holding her daddy," she pouts, crossing her arms.
Laughing more I go over to take Bree from Zac, "Is that better?" I ask Junia who just grins as she moves into the other leg as well.
Junia nods her head, "I don't like sharing my daddy like I share my mommy," she tells me so matter of fact.
Sitting down at the table I just eye Zac remembering what he said about us trying for another baby if I took him back. "What if mommy and daddy have another baby?" I ask curiously wondering what she will say to that.
Junia goes silent for a while as if she is contemplating her answer then she shakes her head no, "No," she speaks turning to wrap her arms around Zac's neck. "No baby. I wanna be daddy's baby."
Zac laughs now, holding Junia to him, "You will always be my baby regardless of me having another one," he smiles rubbing her back softly.
I can't help but smile as well. I know Zac may have lied about his death which is keeping me from going back to him but I could never, would never deny him the right to see Junia who doesn't seem to be affected by Zac's lie and his suddenly coming back.
Zac puts Junia down after a while telling her to run off and play in her room. She obeys him leaving us in the kitchen with Bree who seems to have dozed off in my arms. "Would you have another baby with me?" Zac asks as he looks at me again. "I mean you asked Junia that question."
I shrug, "I can't think of having another baby. Not when Carrick is threatening to take Brennan away from me now too."
"Carrick is what?" Zac asks through clenched teeth.
"He came by today to give me divorce papers along with telling me he is taking me to court for custody of Brennan. He knows that Taylor is trying to get custody too as well as proving that he is her daddy but I guess Carrick is going to try to fight that."
Zac glares before standing from the chair, "I'll fucking take care of him," he mutters leaving the kitchen without saying another word to me. When I hear the front door slam shut I jump slightly in my chair.
Standing from the chair eventually I go and put Bree down in her crib again before deciding to clean up some. It's about dinner time when I have another knock on my door which I go to answer. Finding Taylor there I roll my eyes, "What is this the universe trying to kill me?" I ask ignoring his confused face.
"Zac told me to come be with you right now," Taylor shrugs before pushing his way past me. "Apparently he thinks we're both going to need alibis."
I look at him confused now, "Alibi's for what?" I ask him after I shut the door.
Taylor shrugs almost as confused as I am, "He didn't say. He just said for me to come be with you and the kids. To give you an alibi and me as well."
Nodding I hear a timer going off, "Well in that case you better stay for dinner. I hope you don't mind boxed lasagna for dinner."
Hearing Taylor laughing but not complaining I walk into the kitchen and get the lasagna out of the oven. I'm glad Taylor unlike Carrick doesn't complain about my boxed food even if he doesn't like the idea of it. Even if it's not homemade cooking like he would make.