Live In My Memory Chapter Five
Several days pass after the blind fold sex with Taylor, several days and all I have left are three reminders of it. The actual blind fold, the letter left behind, and a slow fading hickie on my neck. Since then though Taylor hasn't came around or even tried to call. I'm not sure why I thought he would. I just..I thought he'd at least want to talk about Bree, even if we just ignored the fact that we have now had sex twice since I've been back.
Jumping when I hear the door to my room open I look up when I see my mother standing in the door way. I know she hasn't ever been one for knocking and I really hate that about her.
"Yeah?" I ask looking at her raised eyebrow. She looks like she has something she wants to ask but she is thinking better of it.
"This was in the mail for you," mom sighs walking over to the bed, handing me an envelope that I see is from a Tulsa lawyer.
Taking it from her I am confused about why I have mail from a Tulsa lawyer. Opening it I take out the letter inside my eyes scanning over what it says. The more I read the more I feel myself getting angry. Taylor has decided to sue me for custody of Brennan. He is suing me for custody and also ordering a DNA test on her.
"Asshole," I mutter through gritted teeth. Standing from the bed I drop the letter, not even caring if my mom picks it up to read. Thanks to Taylor's actions she will find out anyway that Brennan is his. Everyone will find out now.
Mom gives me a confused look at my words, "Are you okay?" she asks making no effort to even pick up the discarded letter on the bed.
I shake my head no at her question, "No," I state honestly before pushing past her to leave the bedroom. I have to go talk to Taylor, regardless of whether he wants to see me or not. I have to ask him why the hell he is dragging this through the courts. He should know that after having sex with him twice I would give him anything he wants.
Making it downstairs, I grab my keys which are laying on the table by the door. Putting them in my pocket, I swing the door open but stop in my tracks as I come face to face with Carrick who is now sporting a black eye. Giving him a confused look I don't move from where I am standing. I thought he couldn't come to Tulsa because he hadn't asked off and who the hell has given him a black eye?
"C..Carrick?" I ask wanting to make sure I am not just seeing things because I am pretty sure I am that pissed off that I could be seeing things, though I guess I sort of figured those things would be Taylor's dead body and not my husband standing on my parents porch with a black eye.
Carrick nods, "It's me," he sighs before running a hand through his hair. "Can we talk?" he asks me his eyes flashing with an urgency that I haven't seen from him before.
Moving aside so he can come in, I watch as he shakes his head no.
"I mean away from where people can hear us," Carrick speaks his voice going so low that I can almost make out the last part of what he has said to me.
Taking a deep breath, I walk out onto the porch where he is, shutting the door behind me. "What do you want to talk about?" I ask confused. "And why are you here? I thought you didn't ask off in enough time to get to leave?"
Carrick again runs a hand through his hair before answering me, "He came by the house," he states his eyes looking confused. "I..I never expected to see him again Avie but my god he was standing there on our porch," he sighs his head shaking. "H....he was coming to tell me that he knew, he knew about Bree," he whispers his voice going low and I feel my eyes widen. Taylor has done this to Carrick. Given him a black eye. "He also told me about how he had sex with you," Carrick reveals his eyes looking away from me though there is no venom in his voice. "After he said that, that's when Mike's wife came to the door behind me. She was in nothing but a sheet," Carrick pauses and the words of what he is saying sinks in. "He figured it out right away and before I knew it his fist was connecting with my eye. He told me I had twenty-four hours to come and tell you or he would do it himself."
Taking in his confession I shake my head, not wanting to believe them. Carrick would never cheat on me and fuck things up that is my job.
"You cheated on me?" I ask him, feeling my voice crack which shocks even myself. "You cheated on me and Taylor found out and did that to your eye?"
The moment I mention Taylor I notice the confusion on Carrick's face. As if he hadn't been talking about Taylor but I ignore it because who else would get that pissed over Carrick or know about Bree. "Y..yeah," Carrick's voice cracks. "Taylor did this to me."
Shaking my head I look away from him. I want to be angry at him for cheating because it hurts knowing he did it. Knowing he lied to me on the phone the day I called and she answered, but how can I be mad at him when I cheated on him twice with Taylor.
"Why did you lie?" I ask feeling tears stinging at my eyes. My anger with Taylor and his suing for custody of Bree being pushed back for now. "Why did you lie when I called you?"
Carrick shrugs his head dropping down, "Because I didn't think the truth would do any good. I didn't think you needed to know. I thought I could have my cake and eat it too."
My heartbreaks at Carrick's words. He honestly thinks I wasn't worth the truth. That I didn't need to know. "I would have told you about Taylor eventually," I tell him honestly. "Because I can't lie to you Care. I wish you could have been the same way with me."
"I'm sorry," Carrick whispers as he looks up at me. The moment he does his eyes land on the hickie on my neck that Taylor left behind during our second sexual encounter. "He leave that?" he ask curiously. He moves closer to me a finger running over the hickie. His expression is one I don't think I can read.
I nod my head shivering as his finger lingers on the skin, "The second time we had sex," I whisper feeling guilty now for being with Taylor twice. "He blindfolded me," I sigh my eyes closing. "It was the day after he found out about Bree being his."
Carrick moves his finger away, "I think it'd be best if maybe while you are here in Tulsa we, we take a little break or something. When you come home you can decide if you want to still be married to me," he whispers and I open my eyes watching him back away. "I just sense that a storm is brewing in the distance and it may change everything," he sighs before walking off the porch.
Frowning I watch him. So does this mean he will stop sending me notes about Bree's paternity? Now that he knows Taylor is informed of it. Now that Taylor has actually hit him. And what the hell does he mean about a storm brewing in the distance? Did Taylor tell him about his suing for custody of Bree.
Shaking my head I watch Carrick drive away before stepping off the porch and going to my car. Now I am finally gonna go confront Taylor, though this time it won't be just about the custody. No I plan on also telling him to stay out of my marriage and that no matter how pissed he is at Carrick for cheating on me he has no right to punch him or make him tell me the truth.
Arriving in his neighborhood I slow down when I see a blue truck leaving his driveway. I was right, it was that damn bastard playing a sick joke on me a few days ago. Pulling into his driveway I know he isn't home obviously but maybe he left Ezra in charge of the kids. Maybe I can wait until he gets back and then I can chew him a new asshole.
Getting out of my car I walk to the porch and raise my hand to knock, surprised when Taylor opens the door before I can. Raising an eyebrow I look at him feeling confused, "I thought you...I mean I saw your.." I state looking for the right words seeing Taylor giving me a confused look now. "The blue truck," I tell him feeling my heartbeat get faster.
"It's a friends truck," Taylor shrugs his voice going cold. He moves out of my way so I can come in. "The same friend who gave me this," he whispers so harsh, pointing to the black eye he is now sporting too.
My eyes widen some as I take in his black eye, "Why did your friend punch you for?" I ask wanting to laugh.
Taylor just glares, "Because I ruined an agreement we had," he tells me as he shuts the door. "I wasn't supposed to do something’s and he found out today that I had."
"Maybe that is karma then," I nod before walking into the living room. "You punched Carrick so you get punched by your friend."
"I punched Carrick?" Taylor asks obviously playing dumb. I hate when he plays dumb because it's fucking annoying as hell.
I roll my eyes, sitting down on the couch, "Stop playing dumb you asshole," I snap at him harshly. "You went to mine and Carrick's house. You told him you knew about Bree then you told him we had sex, twice," I sigh seeing him look confused when I mention having sex with him twice. Was he drunk when we had sex? Is that why he is confused now. I don't remember smelling alcohol on him though.
Taylor's face changes eventually to one of recognition like he has figured something out and he runs a hand through his hair, "You are right," he nods finally admitting to what I already knew. "I punched your husband and told him everything I knew," he shrugs. "What can I say? I was and still am mad that you guys fucking kept me in the dark about Bree. I mean I figured you would realize I am still mad, I did after all sue you for custody."
Glaring now I cross my arms, "I figured you were still mad. I'm not sure why you sued though. You should have known after the second time we fucked and I let you keep my blindfolded that I would do anything you wanted Taylor," I inform him before frowning. "If you wanted to see her I wouldn't stop you."
"And what about Carrick?" Taylor asks as he sits down beside me. "Would he let me see my daughter, I mean legally since his name is on that birth certificate he can stop me Avery."
I shake my head, "I don't even know if Carrick and I will stay together," I let him know when he asks about Carrick. "I mean he did cheat on me, that was the other reason you punched him," I smile some realizing that Taylor punched Carrick because he was pissed also about Carrick hurting me. Taylor may have been mad about Bree but he still cared if I got hurt.
Taylor nods almost looking like Taylor's cheating is new information to him. I'm sure he is faking dumb again. That fucking asshole. "I still don't trust him and if you two divorce he could take you for custody of Bree. I'm not risking losing her to him. I want her legally Avie."
"So you are going to take her from me?" I ask him feeling hurt by that. "Even though I'm on your side and will let you see her."
"If it means I don't lose her to Carrick when or if you divorce then yeah I am willing to take her from you," Taylor says sounding so honest. "She is my daughter too and I'll be damned if he takes her or even refuses to let me see her Avery. Also you may stay with him and then what? I don't see Carrick agreeing to let me see her or you even standing up to him to let me see her."
I go silent knowing that he has a point, "Then be ready to fight because I'm not losing my daughter," I speak out harshly before standing from the couch. "I lose Junia and I'm not losing Bree," I tell him before leaving the living room.
Going to the front door I open it and head outside slamming the door shut behind me. Walking to my car I get in driving back to my parents house.
When I reach the house again I park the car, getting out and smiling when I see Junia on the porch playing with some Barbie dolls. "What are you doing Junebug?" I ask her as I sit down beside her.
Junia looks up, handing me a Barbie doll, "Thinking about daddy," she smiles. "I talked to him last night."
Hearing her say she talked to Zac last night makes me frown. I had no clue she talked to him sometimes. I guess she is like me in that aspect. "What did you and daddy talk about?" I ask her as I hold the Barbie she gave me.
"Bree," Junia blurts out so carelessly. "I told him that Care is her daddy though, that he isn't her daddy like he is mine. I don't wanna share him too."
I laugh some at that, "But you share him with Shepherd," I remind her before putting the Barbie back down so she can play with it.
Junia looks up at me again, "Shepherd shares him with me. Shepherd is older mommy," she says as if I should know that. "Duh."
I laugh more, standing from the porch, "If you say so little girl," I mutter shaking my head. Going inside I head upstairs deciding after today that I need a really long nap. A week long nap would be good.
Several days pass after the blind fold sex with Taylor, several days and all I have left are three reminders of it. The actual blind fold, the letter left behind, and a slow fading hickie on my neck. Since then though Taylor hasn't came around or even tried to call. I'm not sure why I thought he would. I just..I thought he'd at least want to talk about Bree, even if we just ignored the fact that we have now had sex twice since I've been back.
Jumping when I hear the door to my room open I look up when I see my mother standing in the door way. I know she hasn't ever been one for knocking and I really hate that about her.
"Yeah?" I ask looking at her raised eyebrow. She looks like she has something she wants to ask but she is thinking better of it.
"This was in the mail for you," mom sighs walking over to the bed, handing me an envelope that I see is from a Tulsa lawyer.
Taking it from her I am confused about why I have mail from a Tulsa lawyer. Opening it I take out the letter inside my eyes scanning over what it says. The more I read the more I feel myself getting angry. Taylor has decided to sue me for custody of Brennan. He is suing me for custody and also ordering a DNA test on her.
"Asshole," I mutter through gritted teeth. Standing from the bed I drop the letter, not even caring if my mom picks it up to read. Thanks to Taylor's actions she will find out anyway that Brennan is his. Everyone will find out now.
Mom gives me a confused look at my words, "Are you okay?" she asks making no effort to even pick up the discarded letter on the bed.
I shake my head no at her question, "No," I state honestly before pushing past her to leave the bedroom. I have to go talk to Taylor, regardless of whether he wants to see me or not. I have to ask him why the hell he is dragging this through the courts. He should know that after having sex with him twice I would give him anything he wants.
Making it downstairs, I grab my keys which are laying on the table by the door. Putting them in my pocket, I swing the door open but stop in my tracks as I come face to face with Carrick who is now sporting a black eye. Giving him a confused look I don't move from where I am standing. I thought he couldn't come to Tulsa because he hadn't asked off and who the hell has given him a black eye?
"C..Carrick?" I ask wanting to make sure I am not just seeing things because I am pretty sure I am that pissed off that I could be seeing things, though I guess I sort of figured those things would be Taylor's dead body and not my husband standing on my parents porch with a black eye.
Carrick nods, "It's me," he sighs before running a hand through his hair. "Can we talk?" he asks me his eyes flashing with an urgency that I haven't seen from him before.
Moving aside so he can come in, I watch as he shakes his head no.
"I mean away from where people can hear us," Carrick speaks his voice going so low that I can almost make out the last part of what he has said to me.
Taking a deep breath, I walk out onto the porch where he is, shutting the door behind me. "What do you want to talk about?" I ask confused. "And why are you here? I thought you didn't ask off in enough time to get to leave?"
Carrick again runs a hand through his hair before answering me, "He came by the house," he states his eyes looking confused. "I..I never expected to see him again Avie but my god he was standing there on our porch," he sighs his head shaking. "H....he was coming to tell me that he knew, he knew about Bree," he whispers his voice going low and I feel my eyes widen. Taylor has done this to Carrick. Given him a black eye. "He also told me about how he had sex with you," Carrick reveals his eyes looking away from me though there is no venom in his voice. "After he said that, that's when Mike's wife came to the door behind me. She was in nothing but a sheet," Carrick pauses and the words of what he is saying sinks in. "He figured it out right away and before I knew it his fist was connecting with my eye. He told me I had twenty-four hours to come and tell you or he would do it himself."
Taking in his confession I shake my head, not wanting to believe them. Carrick would never cheat on me and fuck things up that is my job.
"You cheated on me?" I ask him, feeling my voice crack which shocks even myself. "You cheated on me and Taylor found out and did that to your eye?"
The moment I mention Taylor I notice the confusion on Carrick's face. As if he hadn't been talking about Taylor but I ignore it because who else would get that pissed over Carrick or know about Bree. "Y..yeah," Carrick's voice cracks. "Taylor did this to me."
Shaking my head I look away from him. I want to be angry at him for cheating because it hurts knowing he did it. Knowing he lied to me on the phone the day I called and she answered, but how can I be mad at him when I cheated on him twice with Taylor.
"Why did you lie?" I ask feeling tears stinging at my eyes. My anger with Taylor and his suing for custody of Bree being pushed back for now. "Why did you lie when I called you?"
Carrick shrugs his head dropping down, "Because I didn't think the truth would do any good. I didn't think you needed to know. I thought I could have my cake and eat it too."
My heartbreaks at Carrick's words. He honestly thinks I wasn't worth the truth. That I didn't need to know. "I would have told you about Taylor eventually," I tell him honestly. "Because I can't lie to you Care. I wish you could have been the same way with me."
"I'm sorry," Carrick whispers as he looks up at me. The moment he does his eyes land on the hickie on my neck that Taylor left behind during our second sexual encounter. "He leave that?" he ask curiously. He moves closer to me a finger running over the hickie. His expression is one I don't think I can read.
I nod my head shivering as his finger lingers on the skin, "The second time we had sex," I whisper feeling guilty now for being with Taylor twice. "He blindfolded me," I sigh my eyes closing. "It was the day after he found out about Bree being his."
Carrick moves his finger away, "I think it'd be best if maybe while you are here in Tulsa we, we take a little break or something. When you come home you can decide if you want to still be married to me," he whispers and I open my eyes watching him back away. "I just sense that a storm is brewing in the distance and it may change everything," he sighs before walking off the porch.
Frowning I watch him. So does this mean he will stop sending me notes about Bree's paternity? Now that he knows Taylor is informed of it. Now that Taylor has actually hit him. And what the hell does he mean about a storm brewing in the distance? Did Taylor tell him about his suing for custody of Bree.
Shaking my head I watch Carrick drive away before stepping off the porch and going to my car. Now I am finally gonna go confront Taylor, though this time it won't be just about the custody. No I plan on also telling him to stay out of my marriage and that no matter how pissed he is at Carrick for cheating on me he has no right to punch him or make him tell me the truth.
Arriving in his neighborhood I slow down when I see a blue truck leaving his driveway. I was right, it was that damn bastard playing a sick joke on me a few days ago. Pulling into his driveway I know he isn't home obviously but maybe he left Ezra in charge of the kids. Maybe I can wait until he gets back and then I can chew him a new asshole.
Getting out of my car I walk to the porch and raise my hand to knock, surprised when Taylor opens the door before I can. Raising an eyebrow I look at him feeling confused, "I thought you...I mean I saw your.." I state looking for the right words seeing Taylor giving me a confused look now. "The blue truck," I tell him feeling my heartbeat get faster.
"It's a friends truck," Taylor shrugs his voice going cold. He moves out of my way so I can come in. "The same friend who gave me this," he whispers so harsh, pointing to the black eye he is now sporting too.
My eyes widen some as I take in his black eye, "Why did your friend punch you for?" I ask wanting to laugh.
Taylor just glares, "Because I ruined an agreement we had," he tells me as he shuts the door. "I wasn't supposed to do something’s and he found out today that I had."
"Maybe that is karma then," I nod before walking into the living room. "You punched Carrick so you get punched by your friend."
"I punched Carrick?" Taylor asks obviously playing dumb. I hate when he plays dumb because it's fucking annoying as hell.
I roll my eyes, sitting down on the couch, "Stop playing dumb you asshole," I snap at him harshly. "You went to mine and Carrick's house. You told him you knew about Bree then you told him we had sex, twice," I sigh seeing him look confused when I mention having sex with him twice. Was he drunk when we had sex? Is that why he is confused now. I don't remember smelling alcohol on him though.
Taylor's face changes eventually to one of recognition like he has figured something out and he runs a hand through his hair, "You are right," he nods finally admitting to what I already knew. "I punched your husband and told him everything I knew," he shrugs. "What can I say? I was and still am mad that you guys fucking kept me in the dark about Bree. I mean I figured you would realize I am still mad, I did after all sue you for custody."
Glaring now I cross my arms, "I figured you were still mad. I'm not sure why you sued though. You should have known after the second time we fucked and I let you keep my blindfolded that I would do anything you wanted Taylor," I inform him before frowning. "If you wanted to see her I wouldn't stop you."
"And what about Carrick?" Taylor asks as he sits down beside me. "Would he let me see my daughter, I mean legally since his name is on that birth certificate he can stop me Avery."
I shake my head, "I don't even know if Carrick and I will stay together," I let him know when he asks about Carrick. "I mean he did cheat on me, that was the other reason you punched him," I smile some realizing that Taylor punched Carrick because he was pissed also about Carrick hurting me. Taylor may have been mad about Bree but he still cared if I got hurt.
Taylor nods almost looking like Taylor's cheating is new information to him. I'm sure he is faking dumb again. That fucking asshole. "I still don't trust him and if you two divorce he could take you for custody of Bree. I'm not risking losing her to him. I want her legally Avie."
"So you are going to take her from me?" I ask him feeling hurt by that. "Even though I'm on your side and will let you see her."
"If it means I don't lose her to Carrick when or if you divorce then yeah I am willing to take her from you," Taylor says sounding so honest. "She is my daughter too and I'll be damned if he takes her or even refuses to let me see her Avery. Also you may stay with him and then what? I don't see Carrick agreeing to let me see her or you even standing up to him to let me see her."
I go silent knowing that he has a point, "Then be ready to fight because I'm not losing my daughter," I speak out harshly before standing from the couch. "I lose Junia and I'm not losing Bree," I tell him before leaving the living room.
Going to the front door I open it and head outside slamming the door shut behind me. Walking to my car I get in driving back to my parents house.
When I reach the house again I park the car, getting out and smiling when I see Junia on the porch playing with some Barbie dolls. "What are you doing Junebug?" I ask her as I sit down beside her.
Junia looks up, handing me a Barbie doll, "Thinking about daddy," she smiles. "I talked to him last night."
Hearing her say she talked to Zac last night makes me frown. I had no clue she talked to him sometimes. I guess she is like me in that aspect. "What did you and daddy talk about?" I ask her as I hold the Barbie she gave me.
"Bree," Junia blurts out so carelessly. "I told him that Care is her daddy though, that he isn't her daddy like he is mine. I don't wanna share him too."
I laugh some at that, "But you share him with Shepherd," I remind her before putting the Barbie back down so she can play with it.
Junia looks up at me again, "Shepherd shares him with me. Shepherd is older mommy," she says as if I should know that. "Duh."
I laugh more, standing from the porch, "If you say so little girl," I mutter shaking my head. Going inside I head upstairs deciding after today that I need a really long nap. A week long nap would be good.