Live In My Memory Chapter Six
The next morning I wake up when I hear Bree crying from down the hall. Getting out of bed I stumble down the hallway still half asleep. I'm a little curious though about why Bree has already stopped crying before I have even got to her.
Opening the door to the room she is in, I stop in my tracks when I see Taylor sitting in the rocking chair with her. Her head is on his chest and she seems content as she sucks on a bottle that he obviously made for her. I'm not sure why but my heart is melting at the sight. Damn it I'm supposed to be mad at him for taking me to court not finding him cute as he tends to his daughter.
"I didn't know you were coming by," I speak up to let him know I am in the room. When he looks up at me I frown seeing his black eye looks worse than it did yesterday. His friend sure did a hell of a number on him.
Taylor shrugs but continues to rock with Bree, "I was just out running errands after taking the kids by Pam's for the day. I decided to come by and see my other child before going anywhere else though," he smiles looking down at Bree.
"Natalie still isn't home?" I ask him. I know she wasn't there when I stopped by yesterday but I had thought she was out doing some things, not that she was still gone.
Taylor shakes his head, "Nope, she is still gone and she isn't answering my calls either. Pam says she knows where Natalie is though so at least she is keeping in contact with someone right," he frowns slightly but when Bree looks up at him he stops. "She's so beautiful."
I smile, walking over to where Taylor and Bree are, "She is beautiful," I nod before leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I think she looks so much like you," I confess as I catch his eyes. "I'm surprised you never suspected sooner."
"I think I did deep down, even in the kitchen when she called me daddy, I think I knew," Taylor sighs as he looks away from me. "I just never thought you'd betray me like that Avery," he frowns again, standing from the rocking chair. He moves Bree up on his hip and she goes back to resting her head on his chest.
Frowning I look down at the carpet, "But I did," I finish for him. "I betrayed you and kept you from your daughter for seven months. I know that, we don't have to rehash this over again Taylor."
"But we do," Taylor states, walking over to the door. "I want you to know how much you hurt me," he says his voice sounding so sad. "I missed so much already Avery. Even if I don't get custody of her I will find a way to make it so you don't leave Tulsa and go back to Oklahoma City."
Going silent I watch Taylor leave the room. I'm too stunned to say anything. Exactly how is he going to stop me from going back home, back to Carrick so that maybe we can fix our marriage or even decide to divorce.
"Fuck," I whisper going out of the room too. Going back into the room where I am staying I reach for my cell phone that is beside the bed, seeing a text from Carrick.
I loved you first.
Rolling my eyes at that, I shut the phone off, not even messaging him back. What do I say to that anyway? It's probably his why of trying to get back on my good side after telling me he cheated.
Putting the phone back on the night stand then leave, heading downstairs and into the kitchen. I find Taylor there, Bree in a high chair while Taylor sits at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee, "You aren't going to take that scarf off?" I ask not liking his habit of always wearing them inside.
"Got a problem with me wearing it inside?" Taylor asks curiously. He sits his coffee cup down, taking the scarf off finally. The moment he does I can see his chest hairs sticking out thanks to his inability to button the top two buttons of his shirt.
Fucking hell, he hadn't been the one who blind folded me. Fucking hell it had been a stranger. That thought made me sick and I ran off towards the downstairs bathroom, shutting the door behind me as well as locking it.
Bending down once I reached the toilet I got sick. I had only had sex with that person because I thought I knew them but now it seems like I hadn't known them at all. Does that classify it as rape? If I only wanted it when I thought I had known the person. If I only wanted it if it had been Taylor or well even in a weird way Carrick.
After awhile I stand back up and open the door. Making my way back into the kitchen I see Taylor still at the table though now he is eyeing me suspiciously.
"Just felt ill," I lie to him. It shouldn't be so easy to lie to him but it is. It's like it's natural. Anyway how can I tell him the truth? How can I tell him I had sex with some stranger who I thought was him?
Taylor gives me a skeptical look but stands from the table anyway, "Whatever you say Avie," he shrugs before walking past me. "Tell mom I said hello," he calls out.
I just nod still in shock that the person I had sex with wasn't him. I have never felt so used or violated before in my life.
"I think mommy needs to get drunk Bree," I mutter to her as I walk to the table to collect Taylor's now empty coffee cup. His laziness knows no bounds.
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Hours later I smile, my eyes catching Jessica's. I'm glad I have an older sister like her. Someone who if I call her and tell her I need to go and get drunk will take me out and do just that without even asking why. I guess with me she has learned to stop asking questions though. She's probably sure she won't like the answer she gets if she does ask.
"Avery don't you think you have drank enough?" Jessica asks as her head leans in closer to mine. "I'm sure that's your sixth beer of the night."
I laugh at her words, "Just one more Jessie," I tell her. Turning away I look at the bartender and order one more drink. "I need one more drink to forget."
Jessica sighs from her place beside me and I feel her stand up off the bar stool, "Well you are going to have to find your own way home then miss drunker than a skunk," she scolds me. "I need to get home to Joe and Hans before it gets too late. I can't unlike you just forget about my family waiting for me."
Ignoring her words I just let her walk away, picking up my beer when it comes. I take a long drink already dreading the cab ride to my mom's house.
"This seat taken?" a male voice asks from beside me. When I turn to look at them I smirk. He isn't so bad looking. In my inebriated state he could pass for Zac's twin even.
Shaking my head I smirk more when the guy sits down, "It was taken but my sister left me to go be a stick in the mud," I giggle trying not to stare at the guy. I know he isn't Zac but it really is uncanny how much he looks like Zac.
I hear the guy laugh after he orders a rum and coke. I can't help but find it funny that Zac's twin likes the same drink he always liked when he did drink. "Your sister always a stick in the mud?" he asks me his hand coming over to rest on my thigh.
His hand being there makes me shiver but not in the I am cold kind of way. "No."
"Then why she is one tonight?" he asks me right as his drink arrives. I turn to watch him take a drink. As he does so the hand on my thigh inches farther up.
Blushing I chew on my lip, "Because she has a husband and kid to get back too. She has to be responsible," I pout or start too. When his hand reaches the crotch of my jeans I feel myself move in response to his touch. "Don't you think your hands are getting kind of feely mister?" I ask him.
He just gives me a crooked smile which makes my heart melt. It reminds me of Zac's smile and I know I am screwed. I can't resist that fucking crooked smile on Zac or his twin.
"Sorry," he apologizes but keeps his hand where it's at. "I just thought you might like some fun," he replies before taking another drink of his rum and coke. "If not I can go," he shrugs his hand finally moving from where it had been. "I'm sure another woman in here would like to have some fun with me," he spits out before standing from his bar stool.
Watching him walk away I frown. I hadn't mean to hurt him. Standing from the bar stool I go after him not liking the fact that he has decided to go through the packed crowd on the dance floor. When I finally spot him I see him flirting with some blonde bimbo who has a barely there top and even less of a there skirt.
Rolling my eyes I make my way over to where he is, "I'm sorry," I tell him not caring that he is in the middle of a conversation. I know if he were really Zac he wouldn't care but I have to remind myself he isn't Zac. Zac is dead.
The guys looks at me his brown eyes looking right through me. It makes me shiver too. No one has ever looked right through me like that before. "Sorry enough to dance with me?"
Looking down I nod, "I don't dance," I shrug before looking back up. "But I guess I can give you a dance to prove how sorry I am."
Seeing the stranger smirk I feel him put his arms around my hips and he turns me around. His arms feel familiar almost like the ones from when I had sex the other day with that stranger. But just like he is not Zac there is no way he was the stranger either. It's just my drunken imagination playing tricks on me.
When he stops in the middle of the dance floor, I turn myself around in his arms, feeling goosebumps form when I am literally right against his body. He smells nice though like weed, alcohol and some kind of chocolate.
Hearing the song change I blush when he pulls me even closer, starting to dance with me. It's not that I don't like it because I do but damn it do I really need to go and more than likely fuck another stranger? I've already done that and I have also fucked Taylor too since being back.
I am afraid if I keep doing this the person who knows about Bree's paternity may find out and somehow start using my sex life against me. I know I don't have the best reputation, I'm kind of a slut I always have been.
The longer we dance I soon feel the guys hand go down to my ass which he grabs playfully. I don't mean to moan but I do, my hips moving into the guys anymore. "You have a name?" I ask him, my lips going to their ear which I nip softly. If they want to play the flirting card then we will.
"You can call me anything you want to call me," he whispers into my ear finally pulling away from me. Without saying anything else he grabs me by the hand and starts to lead me out, though before we get to the door someone grabs him by the arm to stop him.
I just stand there watching as things almost play out in slow motion, the person who stopped him throws a punch, the stranger ending up on the floor which causes him to drop my hand. Bending down to see if he is okay I groan as the person who threw the punch picks me up by the waist before I have time to even protest. Their strong arms keeping me in place the whole way outside.
"Do you always leave with fucking strangers?" another male voice greets my ears. I wanna call him on being a stranger too but I don't. He is after all carrying me out of the bar and he seems much stronger than me. "I swear you really don't fucking learn," he growls when he makes it to a blue truck. A truck that looks like the one that I saw leaving Taylor's house.
When he opens the door to the passenger side that is when he finally puts me down, slamming the door before I can get a good look at his face.
The driver's side door opens eventually and I watch him get in my mind reeling when I see the face staring back at me. If I had thought the guy at the bar was Zac's twin I was wrong. This guy here in the truck was Zac's twin. He even sounded like Zac.
"You better be glad I was here tonight," he hisses out before starting his truck. "Next time you won't be so lucky."
Going silent I look out the window as he drives. "Who are you?" I ask breaking the silence. I am almost afraid that he is Zac's ghost coming back to haunt me from the dead.
"Sam," he answers me like he is pissed off. "I'm a friend of Taylor's," he informs me and I know I was right about this truck looking like the one I saw leaving Taylor's house. It was the one I saw leaving his house.
I go silent again not saying anything else to Sam, at least not until he pulls up at my parents house. It's then that I speak to him again. "You know you are a stranger too," I tell him watching as he turns to look at me. "You may know my brother but to me you are a stranger," I whisper when I see him inch closer to me.
Sam's brown eyes lock with mine before he leans into kiss me on the lips and with that kiss I feel like that breath has been knocked out of me. I have kissed Sam before. His lips are the ones that were kissing me mere days ago. Sam is the one who blindfolded me. The one I felt so alive with.
Kissing him harder I let my hands go to rest on his cheeks, "Take me inside," I mutter into his mouth, my tongue finding its way inside. I know I shouldn't but I want to be with Sam again. I want to feel alive again. It's a feeling I haven't felt with Carrick or Taylor. A feeling that only Zac and it seems now Sam, can give me.
The next morning I wake up when I hear Bree crying from down the hall. Getting out of bed I stumble down the hallway still half asleep. I'm a little curious though about why Bree has already stopped crying before I have even got to her.
Opening the door to the room she is in, I stop in my tracks when I see Taylor sitting in the rocking chair with her. Her head is on his chest and she seems content as she sucks on a bottle that he obviously made for her. I'm not sure why but my heart is melting at the sight. Damn it I'm supposed to be mad at him for taking me to court not finding him cute as he tends to his daughter.
"I didn't know you were coming by," I speak up to let him know I am in the room. When he looks up at me I frown seeing his black eye looks worse than it did yesterday. His friend sure did a hell of a number on him.
Taylor shrugs but continues to rock with Bree, "I was just out running errands after taking the kids by Pam's for the day. I decided to come by and see my other child before going anywhere else though," he smiles looking down at Bree.
"Natalie still isn't home?" I ask him. I know she wasn't there when I stopped by yesterday but I had thought she was out doing some things, not that she was still gone.
Taylor shakes his head, "Nope, she is still gone and she isn't answering my calls either. Pam says she knows where Natalie is though so at least she is keeping in contact with someone right," he frowns slightly but when Bree looks up at him he stops. "She's so beautiful."
I smile, walking over to where Taylor and Bree are, "She is beautiful," I nod before leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I think she looks so much like you," I confess as I catch his eyes. "I'm surprised you never suspected sooner."
"I think I did deep down, even in the kitchen when she called me daddy, I think I knew," Taylor sighs as he looks away from me. "I just never thought you'd betray me like that Avery," he frowns again, standing from the rocking chair. He moves Bree up on his hip and she goes back to resting her head on his chest.
Frowning I look down at the carpet, "But I did," I finish for him. "I betrayed you and kept you from your daughter for seven months. I know that, we don't have to rehash this over again Taylor."
"But we do," Taylor states, walking over to the door. "I want you to know how much you hurt me," he says his voice sounding so sad. "I missed so much already Avery. Even if I don't get custody of her I will find a way to make it so you don't leave Tulsa and go back to Oklahoma City."
Going silent I watch Taylor leave the room. I'm too stunned to say anything. Exactly how is he going to stop me from going back home, back to Carrick so that maybe we can fix our marriage or even decide to divorce.
"Fuck," I whisper going out of the room too. Going back into the room where I am staying I reach for my cell phone that is beside the bed, seeing a text from Carrick.
I loved you first.
Rolling my eyes at that, I shut the phone off, not even messaging him back. What do I say to that anyway? It's probably his why of trying to get back on my good side after telling me he cheated.
Putting the phone back on the night stand then leave, heading downstairs and into the kitchen. I find Taylor there, Bree in a high chair while Taylor sits at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee, "You aren't going to take that scarf off?" I ask not liking his habit of always wearing them inside.
"Got a problem with me wearing it inside?" Taylor asks curiously. He sits his coffee cup down, taking the scarf off finally. The moment he does I can see his chest hairs sticking out thanks to his inability to button the top two buttons of his shirt.
Fucking hell, he hadn't been the one who blind folded me. Fucking hell it had been a stranger. That thought made me sick and I ran off towards the downstairs bathroom, shutting the door behind me as well as locking it.
Bending down once I reached the toilet I got sick. I had only had sex with that person because I thought I knew them but now it seems like I hadn't known them at all. Does that classify it as rape? If I only wanted it when I thought I had known the person. If I only wanted it if it had been Taylor or well even in a weird way Carrick.
After awhile I stand back up and open the door. Making my way back into the kitchen I see Taylor still at the table though now he is eyeing me suspiciously.
"Just felt ill," I lie to him. It shouldn't be so easy to lie to him but it is. It's like it's natural. Anyway how can I tell him the truth? How can I tell him I had sex with some stranger who I thought was him?
Taylor gives me a skeptical look but stands from the table anyway, "Whatever you say Avie," he shrugs before walking past me. "Tell mom I said hello," he calls out.
I just nod still in shock that the person I had sex with wasn't him. I have never felt so used or violated before in my life.
"I think mommy needs to get drunk Bree," I mutter to her as I walk to the table to collect Taylor's now empty coffee cup. His laziness knows no bounds.
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Hours later I smile, my eyes catching Jessica's. I'm glad I have an older sister like her. Someone who if I call her and tell her I need to go and get drunk will take me out and do just that without even asking why. I guess with me she has learned to stop asking questions though. She's probably sure she won't like the answer she gets if she does ask.
"Avery don't you think you have drank enough?" Jessica asks as her head leans in closer to mine. "I'm sure that's your sixth beer of the night."
I laugh at her words, "Just one more Jessie," I tell her. Turning away I look at the bartender and order one more drink. "I need one more drink to forget."
Jessica sighs from her place beside me and I feel her stand up off the bar stool, "Well you are going to have to find your own way home then miss drunker than a skunk," she scolds me. "I need to get home to Joe and Hans before it gets too late. I can't unlike you just forget about my family waiting for me."
Ignoring her words I just let her walk away, picking up my beer when it comes. I take a long drink already dreading the cab ride to my mom's house.
"This seat taken?" a male voice asks from beside me. When I turn to look at them I smirk. He isn't so bad looking. In my inebriated state he could pass for Zac's twin even.
Shaking my head I smirk more when the guy sits down, "It was taken but my sister left me to go be a stick in the mud," I giggle trying not to stare at the guy. I know he isn't Zac but it really is uncanny how much he looks like Zac.
I hear the guy laugh after he orders a rum and coke. I can't help but find it funny that Zac's twin likes the same drink he always liked when he did drink. "Your sister always a stick in the mud?" he asks me his hand coming over to rest on my thigh.
His hand being there makes me shiver but not in the I am cold kind of way. "No."
"Then why she is one tonight?" he asks me right as his drink arrives. I turn to watch him take a drink. As he does so the hand on my thigh inches farther up.
Blushing I chew on my lip, "Because she has a husband and kid to get back too. She has to be responsible," I pout or start too. When his hand reaches the crotch of my jeans I feel myself move in response to his touch. "Don't you think your hands are getting kind of feely mister?" I ask him.
He just gives me a crooked smile which makes my heart melt. It reminds me of Zac's smile and I know I am screwed. I can't resist that fucking crooked smile on Zac or his twin.
"Sorry," he apologizes but keeps his hand where it's at. "I just thought you might like some fun," he replies before taking another drink of his rum and coke. "If not I can go," he shrugs his hand finally moving from where it had been. "I'm sure another woman in here would like to have some fun with me," he spits out before standing from his bar stool.
Watching him walk away I frown. I hadn't mean to hurt him. Standing from the bar stool I go after him not liking the fact that he has decided to go through the packed crowd on the dance floor. When I finally spot him I see him flirting with some blonde bimbo who has a barely there top and even less of a there skirt.
Rolling my eyes I make my way over to where he is, "I'm sorry," I tell him not caring that he is in the middle of a conversation. I know if he were really Zac he wouldn't care but I have to remind myself he isn't Zac. Zac is dead.
The guys looks at me his brown eyes looking right through me. It makes me shiver too. No one has ever looked right through me like that before. "Sorry enough to dance with me?"
Looking down I nod, "I don't dance," I shrug before looking back up. "But I guess I can give you a dance to prove how sorry I am."
Seeing the stranger smirk I feel him put his arms around my hips and he turns me around. His arms feel familiar almost like the ones from when I had sex the other day with that stranger. But just like he is not Zac there is no way he was the stranger either. It's just my drunken imagination playing tricks on me.
When he stops in the middle of the dance floor, I turn myself around in his arms, feeling goosebumps form when I am literally right against his body. He smells nice though like weed, alcohol and some kind of chocolate.
Hearing the song change I blush when he pulls me even closer, starting to dance with me. It's not that I don't like it because I do but damn it do I really need to go and more than likely fuck another stranger? I've already done that and I have also fucked Taylor too since being back.
I am afraid if I keep doing this the person who knows about Bree's paternity may find out and somehow start using my sex life against me. I know I don't have the best reputation, I'm kind of a slut I always have been.
The longer we dance I soon feel the guys hand go down to my ass which he grabs playfully. I don't mean to moan but I do, my hips moving into the guys anymore. "You have a name?" I ask him, my lips going to their ear which I nip softly. If they want to play the flirting card then we will.
"You can call me anything you want to call me," he whispers into my ear finally pulling away from me. Without saying anything else he grabs me by the hand and starts to lead me out, though before we get to the door someone grabs him by the arm to stop him.
I just stand there watching as things almost play out in slow motion, the person who stopped him throws a punch, the stranger ending up on the floor which causes him to drop my hand. Bending down to see if he is okay I groan as the person who threw the punch picks me up by the waist before I have time to even protest. Their strong arms keeping me in place the whole way outside.
"Do you always leave with fucking strangers?" another male voice greets my ears. I wanna call him on being a stranger too but I don't. He is after all carrying me out of the bar and he seems much stronger than me. "I swear you really don't fucking learn," he growls when he makes it to a blue truck. A truck that looks like the one that I saw leaving Taylor's house.
When he opens the door to the passenger side that is when he finally puts me down, slamming the door before I can get a good look at his face.
The driver's side door opens eventually and I watch him get in my mind reeling when I see the face staring back at me. If I had thought the guy at the bar was Zac's twin I was wrong. This guy here in the truck was Zac's twin. He even sounded like Zac.
"You better be glad I was here tonight," he hisses out before starting his truck. "Next time you won't be so lucky."
Going silent I look out the window as he drives. "Who are you?" I ask breaking the silence. I am almost afraid that he is Zac's ghost coming back to haunt me from the dead.
"Sam," he answers me like he is pissed off. "I'm a friend of Taylor's," he informs me and I know I was right about this truck looking like the one I saw leaving Taylor's house. It was the one I saw leaving his house.
I go silent again not saying anything else to Sam, at least not until he pulls up at my parents house. It's then that I speak to him again. "You know you are a stranger too," I tell him watching as he turns to look at me. "You may know my brother but to me you are a stranger," I whisper when I see him inch closer to me.
Sam's brown eyes lock with mine before he leans into kiss me on the lips and with that kiss I feel like that breath has been knocked out of me. I have kissed Sam before. His lips are the ones that were kissing me mere days ago. Sam is the one who blindfolded me. The one I felt so alive with.
Kissing him harder I let my hands go to rest on his cheeks, "Take me inside," I mutter into his mouth, my tongue finding its way inside. I know I shouldn't but I want to be with Sam again. I want to feel alive again. It's a feeling I haven't felt with Carrick or Taylor. A feeling that only Zac and it seems now Sam, can give me.