Live In My Memory Chapter Ten
Christmas gets here quicker than I know and I smile as I find myself standing in Taylor's kitchen listening to Junia talk to him about her newest toys that she had just opened in his living room. I know just a few days ago I was mad at him but it's like whenever I see or hear him with one of my daughters something inside of me changes.
"You know a little help making this food would be nice," I tell Taylor trying to stay stern. Since I was coming over I decided I would help him fix the lunch for that day. Tonight would be the big blow out at my parents house. "I mean I've nearly really fixed an apple pie before."
Taylor laughs telling Junia she can go in the living room to play now. "You know, you could just let me fix this by myself," he smirks when he comes to stand beside me taking what I am holding out of my hands before I can protest. "Natalie does trust me enough not to burn down the house and fix food by myself."
Laughing I shake my head, "It's not that I don't trust you," I try to justify as I watch him get the apple pie ready so effortlessly. "I just want to learn how to cook more by myself," I shrug watching him put the pie in the oven. "I mean before Zac and I ended things all I could cook was Spaghetti and mom's Meatloaf. Zac and I mainly ate out because he couldn't really cook either."
"Yeah I remember Zac saying once all he could cook was frozen corn dogs," Taylor chimes in laughing more. "I am surprised you and him survived so long on take out and spaghetti and meatloaf," he sighs sounding so offended at our food choices. "Maybe I should teach you how to cook so Bree doesn't grow up on take out all the time when she is with you."
I chew on my lip when he mentions teaching me how to cook, "Maybe you should," I nod as I sit on one of his counters watching as he starts to fix a few more things. I've never taken the time to watch him cook before but it is really attractive. Something about the look on his face when he is so wrapped up in preparing the food. The way he licks his lips. I almost wish he were licking parts of me like that.
Taylor must feel me staring because he turns to give me a look after he gets some of the food on the stove. "Something the matter Avery?" he asks as he walks over to where I am sitting on the counter.
"No," I lie shaking my head. "Everything is good," I smile hoping he believes my words. I really don't want to tell him that I got turned on watching him cook. That my panties may or may not be wet because of him.
Taylor smirks leaning into me, "It's okay if you got flustered watching me cook. You wouldn't be the first person," he whispers when he moves his lips just inches from mine. I really have to resist the urge to kiss him. I am mad and upset with him for numerous reasons. He isn't going to get in my pants right now.
I raise my eyes curiously, "Who else has gotten flustered watching you cook?"
Taylor winks at me before moving his lips onto mine, kissing me like I knew he was intending to do when he moved so close to me. Closing my eyes I give into weakness and kiss him back.
I'm not sure how long we kiss but I know it gets interrupted by a knock on the door which causes Taylor to pull away with a pout. When he moves away from me I move off the counter and follow behind him watching as he opens to the door to reveal a pretty blonde standing there. She looks like she could have walked off the cover of some magazine.
"Sorry I'm late," the blonde smiles pushing her way in past Taylor, "Sam couldn't keep his hands off me this morning. You know his penchant for morning sex always makes us late for everything," she laughs before her eyes finally land on me and her laughs stop, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.
Taylor just stands there dumbfounded, "I..I didn't know you and Sam were coming Sadie," he smiles though I can tell it's a fake one. When he sees Sadie looking at me he blushes, "Sadie, this is Avery my sister. Avery this is Sadie, Sam's girlfriend."
Sadie makes a face, "You have another sibling?" she asks like she is so confused. "I thought it was just you and Sam," she whispers but it's low enough that I can hear her. "I mean that's all you guys have ever made it out to be these last few months that I have finally met you."
"We do have another sibling," Taylor nods and I stand there confused. Sam is our..no. He can't be. I mean I may have decided Taylor lied to me but that doesn't mean I wanted to be right. "Where is Sam?" Taylor asks Sadie urgently, his eyes darting to me like he doesn't want me to see Sam if he is here.
Sadie rolls her eyes, "You know that bastard. Always has to run some errands before making it somewhere. He should be getting here soon. Said something about having to give a present to the mother of his child. I honestly don't see why he cares for her. I mean from what he has said she ripped his heart out when she left him."
Walking away from Sadie I feel my blood start to boil. Grabbing an umbrella that is hanging on Taylor's coat rack I go outside. I am going to wait for Sam. I am going to wait for him and kill him when I see him. His death will be by this umbrella.
Slamming the door shut I stand on the porch swinging the umbrella back and forth. When I hear a car pull in the drive way I glare seeing that familiar blue truck parked in the drive way. I can't see the driver but they obviously can see me.
Sam is being a fucking coward it seems because he isn't getting out of his truck. He is staying in it. If he wants to be like this then fine I will go to him. I will murder him in his truck.
Walking off the porch I stop when I get close enough to see who the driver is. I stop in my tracks when I see Zac's face staring back at me from behind the truck. His face I'm sure mirrors mine, one of shock. He hadn't expected me to be here seeing Taylor and I sure as hell hadn't actually thought I was right in assuming he was alive. In assuming that Taylor had lied.
When the door of the truck opens I watch as Zac gets out, his hair in a fucking bun and looking very much not dead. Keeping the umbrella in my hand I hold it tighter as I charge towards him, "Bastard," I spit out when I reach him.
I go to raise the umbrella but before it comes down he reaches up to grab it, "Avery," he tells me so calmly that it makes me shiver. "Don't do this," he frowns taking the umbrella from me.
Reaching out with my hands I push him. I push him so hard he stumbles back a bit. "You aren't dead," I choke out before the tears that I hadn't even known where there come spilling out. "You aren't dead."
Zac moves forward once I start crying, his fingers reaching up to brush away the tears I was crying, "I'm sorry," he whispers softly. It's almost too soft that I don't hear it. "I know I have some explaining to do," he sighs before resting his forehead against mine.
Closing my eyes when his forehead rest against mine I sigh, "You have a lot of explaining to do Zachary Walker Hanson," I mutter out using his full name on him.
"Sam," Sadie's voice calls from the front porch making Zac pull away from. "What the hell is going on?" she asks sounding as confused as I feel.
Opening my eyes I watch as Junia comes running of the house behind Sadie thanks to the open door, "Daddy," she yells happy to see Zac obviously. "Daddy you made it to spend Christmas with me and mommy," she grins when she reaches where Zac and I are. Her arms are lifted and I know she is expecting him to pick her up.
Zac returns her grin before bending down and picking her up, "I did make it here to spend Christmas with you and mommy," he nods though I can see through his lie. He hadn't expected us to be here just like Taylor hadn't expected him or Sadie to show up.
Looking at Zac I shake my head, not even sure if this is real or if I am dreaming. But seeing him alive and holding Junia on Christmas of all days, the very day that we finally made it official in 2009. It sure seems surreal.
"We should head inside," I tell him keeping my voice calm. "Taylor should have lunch ready soon. I'm sure you also need to explain to your girlfriend why your child's mother is also your sister," I smirk before turning and heading inside. The moment I pass by Sadie I feel her staring at me with shock. Yeah, she can join the shocked club today.
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A few hours later I chew on my lip as I sit beside Zac in his truck. Lunch has long been finished and Taylor has taken Bree and Junia upstairs to occupy them while Zac talks to me. Sadie who I think is still shocked or confused or both hasn't put down the wine and I'm sure she is still in the kitchen drinking whatever wine Taylor has left to offer her.
"How are you still alive?" I ask Zac finally breaking the silence that has come over us the moment we got in the truck. "Why are you still alive?"
Zac laughs at my last question. It's bitter sounding so I know he doesn't take it well. "Would you rather me be dead Avery?"
Laughing myself I run a hand through my hair, "To be honest, yeah I would," I admit not feeling ashamed. "Because it would mean you hadn't lied to me or everyone else who loved you. That you and Taylor weren't assholes," I spit out feeling my anger start to sit in.
"I lied because no one wanted me Avery," Zac counters his words coming out equally as harsh. "Kate was divorcing me, the woman who ruined everything I loved to have me was leaving me and she was going to take my kids, one of which wasn't even hers. You, you had moved on too, I mean you made that apparent when you fucked Taylor and had me catch you. No one wanted me so I decided to give everyone what they wanted. A life without me."
Listening to him try to explain himself I feel myself getting more angry as he goes on, "I wanted you Zac," I tell him. "I wanted you. I only used Taylor to make you think I had moved on. I was just trying to abide by Kate's orders and leave because if I didn't she would have turned us in," I spit out feeling pissed now that I know that was a lie too. "I never stopped loving you though."
Zac laughs again at that, "If you never stopped loving me, then please explain how the hell you have a child with Taylor and why you are married to Carrick?" he whispers as he reaches for my hand with the wedding band on it. "The ring looks horrible on you by the way," he states before slipping it off my finger roughly. "It's cheap as hell," he says almost disgusted.
I'm about to reach over and take the ring from him but before I can he rolls down the window, throwing it out into the drive way. I guess he is showing me what he thinks of my marriage to Carrick.
Glaring I cross my arms, "I have a kid with Taylor because he comforted me at the cabin. We were both grieving your death," I start but then stop when I realize Taylor had nothing to grieve. He knew Zac wasn't dead. He had always known it seemed. "Or he was pretending to grieve your death," I frown feeling like a fool for the times at the cabin, even if I did get Bree out of those.
"Carrick, it was because he was there for me. He never judged me or at least he acted like he didn't. He helped me get Junia back," I smile knowing at least Carrick had done a few good things for me even if he had fucked me over in the end.
Zac goes silent at reasons for what he asked, "And you fucking Taylor since being back?" he asks as he leans in whispering that into my ear. "Did you think he wouldn't tell me about that? Why do you think I punched him?"
Shivering I close my eyes, "Because I'm a grown woman," I answer him my eyes opening. "I could do as pleased because I thought you were dead," I shrug my head turning to face him. "I kissed him today too for your information. Right before your blonde girlfriend showed up."
Watching Zac glare sends a shiver down my spine. "You wanna use your mouth for pissing me off?" he asks me so harshly. "How about using it for what it's good for," he smirks before I hear him unzip his pants. When I look down I see him bringing his hard cock out of the hole in his jeans were just moments ago his zipper had been.
I look back into his eyes knowing he is serious with his words and I also know I can't say no to him. I can't fucking tell him no even when I am mad at him.
Licking my lips I bend my head down, taking his cock in my mouth which gets me a few moans and his hand buried in my hair.
"Avery," Zac grunts out as I move my mouth on him slowly. "Fuck suck me harder," he whimpers but even then I know he isn't asking me, he is telling me so I do it.
While I am working him over with my mouth I hear my phone ring from the pocket of my pants. I know from the ringtone that it's Carrick.
Feeling Zac's hand move from my hair I soon feel it in my pocket. When he pulls the phone free I know he is going to answer it but I'm scared of what he will say.
"Carrick," Zac speaks into the receiver once he has hit talk. "Y..you want to talk to Avery?" he moans out as I slow my mouth down on his cock deliberately. "Well I hate to tell you but her mouth is being used for other purposes right now. I'm sure once she removes it from my dick she can call you back," he finishes speaking.
I hear him hit end and then I speed up my movements with my mouth again, my tongue gently brushing across his skin some. I hope he knows just because I am sucking his dick that he isn't off the hook. This is just me finally giving him what I was going to give him the night he brought me home from the bar.
Swallowing him when he comes, I move my head away a smirk playing in my lips now as he adjusts himself, "I hope you enjoyed that because I'm done with you," I tell him honestly. "You lied to me and I'm not sure I can get past that," I frown before getting out of his truck. "Enjoy your new life with Sadie as Sam."
Christmas gets here quicker than I know and I smile as I find myself standing in Taylor's kitchen listening to Junia talk to him about her newest toys that she had just opened in his living room. I know just a few days ago I was mad at him but it's like whenever I see or hear him with one of my daughters something inside of me changes.
"You know a little help making this food would be nice," I tell Taylor trying to stay stern. Since I was coming over I decided I would help him fix the lunch for that day. Tonight would be the big blow out at my parents house. "I mean I've nearly really fixed an apple pie before."
Taylor laughs telling Junia she can go in the living room to play now. "You know, you could just let me fix this by myself," he smirks when he comes to stand beside me taking what I am holding out of my hands before I can protest. "Natalie does trust me enough not to burn down the house and fix food by myself."
Laughing I shake my head, "It's not that I don't trust you," I try to justify as I watch him get the apple pie ready so effortlessly. "I just want to learn how to cook more by myself," I shrug watching him put the pie in the oven. "I mean before Zac and I ended things all I could cook was Spaghetti and mom's Meatloaf. Zac and I mainly ate out because he couldn't really cook either."
"Yeah I remember Zac saying once all he could cook was frozen corn dogs," Taylor chimes in laughing more. "I am surprised you and him survived so long on take out and spaghetti and meatloaf," he sighs sounding so offended at our food choices. "Maybe I should teach you how to cook so Bree doesn't grow up on take out all the time when she is with you."
I chew on my lip when he mentions teaching me how to cook, "Maybe you should," I nod as I sit on one of his counters watching as he starts to fix a few more things. I've never taken the time to watch him cook before but it is really attractive. Something about the look on his face when he is so wrapped up in preparing the food. The way he licks his lips. I almost wish he were licking parts of me like that.
Taylor must feel me staring because he turns to give me a look after he gets some of the food on the stove. "Something the matter Avery?" he asks as he walks over to where I am sitting on the counter.
"No," I lie shaking my head. "Everything is good," I smile hoping he believes my words. I really don't want to tell him that I got turned on watching him cook. That my panties may or may not be wet because of him.
Taylor smirks leaning into me, "It's okay if you got flustered watching me cook. You wouldn't be the first person," he whispers when he moves his lips just inches from mine. I really have to resist the urge to kiss him. I am mad and upset with him for numerous reasons. He isn't going to get in my pants right now.
I raise my eyes curiously, "Who else has gotten flustered watching you cook?"
Taylor winks at me before moving his lips onto mine, kissing me like I knew he was intending to do when he moved so close to me. Closing my eyes I give into weakness and kiss him back.
I'm not sure how long we kiss but I know it gets interrupted by a knock on the door which causes Taylor to pull away with a pout. When he moves away from me I move off the counter and follow behind him watching as he opens to the door to reveal a pretty blonde standing there. She looks like she could have walked off the cover of some magazine.
"Sorry I'm late," the blonde smiles pushing her way in past Taylor, "Sam couldn't keep his hands off me this morning. You know his penchant for morning sex always makes us late for everything," she laughs before her eyes finally land on me and her laughs stop, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.
Taylor just stands there dumbfounded, "I..I didn't know you and Sam were coming Sadie," he smiles though I can tell it's a fake one. When he sees Sadie looking at me he blushes, "Sadie, this is Avery my sister. Avery this is Sadie, Sam's girlfriend."
Sadie makes a face, "You have another sibling?" she asks like she is so confused. "I thought it was just you and Sam," she whispers but it's low enough that I can hear her. "I mean that's all you guys have ever made it out to be these last few months that I have finally met you."
"We do have another sibling," Taylor nods and I stand there confused. Sam is our..no. He can't be. I mean I may have decided Taylor lied to me but that doesn't mean I wanted to be right. "Where is Sam?" Taylor asks Sadie urgently, his eyes darting to me like he doesn't want me to see Sam if he is here.
Sadie rolls her eyes, "You know that bastard. Always has to run some errands before making it somewhere. He should be getting here soon. Said something about having to give a present to the mother of his child. I honestly don't see why he cares for her. I mean from what he has said she ripped his heart out when she left him."
Walking away from Sadie I feel my blood start to boil. Grabbing an umbrella that is hanging on Taylor's coat rack I go outside. I am going to wait for Sam. I am going to wait for him and kill him when I see him. His death will be by this umbrella.
Slamming the door shut I stand on the porch swinging the umbrella back and forth. When I hear a car pull in the drive way I glare seeing that familiar blue truck parked in the drive way. I can't see the driver but they obviously can see me.
Sam is being a fucking coward it seems because he isn't getting out of his truck. He is staying in it. If he wants to be like this then fine I will go to him. I will murder him in his truck.
Walking off the porch I stop when I get close enough to see who the driver is. I stop in my tracks when I see Zac's face staring back at me from behind the truck. His face I'm sure mirrors mine, one of shock. He hadn't expected me to be here seeing Taylor and I sure as hell hadn't actually thought I was right in assuming he was alive. In assuming that Taylor had lied.
When the door of the truck opens I watch as Zac gets out, his hair in a fucking bun and looking very much not dead. Keeping the umbrella in my hand I hold it tighter as I charge towards him, "Bastard," I spit out when I reach him.
I go to raise the umbrella but before it comes down he reaches up to grab it, "Avery," he tells me so calmly that it makes me shiver. "Don't do this," he frowns taking the umbrella from me.
Reaching out with my hands I push him. I push him so hard he stumbles back a bit. "You aren't dead," I choke out before the tears that I hadn't even known where there come spilling out. "You aren't dead."
Zac moves forward once I start crying, his fingers reaching up to brush away the tears I was crying, "I'm sorry," he whispers softly. It's almost too soft that I don't hear it. "I know I have some explaining to do," he sighs before resting his forehead against mine.
Closing my eyes when his forehead rest against mine I sigh, "You have a lot of explaining to do Zachary Walker Hanson," I mutter out using his full name on him.
"Sam," Sadie's voice calls from the front porch making Zac pull away from. "What the hell is going on?" she asks sounding as confused as I feel.
Opening my eyes I watch as Junia comes running of the house behind Sadie thanks to the open door, "Daddy," she yells happy to see Zac obviously. "Daddy you made it to spend Christmas with me and mommy," she grins when she reaches where Zac and I are. Her arms are lifted and I know she is expecting him to pick her up.
Zac returns her grin before bending down and picking her up, "I did make it here to spend Christmas with you and mommy," he nods though I can see through his lie. He hadn't expected us to be here just like Taylor hadn't expected him or Sadie to show up.
Looking at Zac I shake my head, not even sure if this is real or if I am dreaming. But seeing him alive and holding Junia on Christmas of all days, the very day that we finally made it official in 2009. It sure seems surreal.
"We should head inside," I tell him keeping my voice calm. "Taylor should have lunch ready soon. I'm sure you also need to explain to your girlfriend why your child's mother is also your sister," I smirk before turning and heading inside. The moment I pass by Sadie I feel her staring at me with shock. Yeah, she can join the shocked club today.
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A few hours later I chew on my lip as I sit beside Zac in his truck. Lunch has long been finished and Taylor has taken Bree and Junia upstairs to occupy them while Zac talks to me. Sadie who I think is still shocked or confused or both hasn't put down the wine and I'm sure she is still in the kitchen drinking whatever wine Taylor has left to offer her.
"How are you still alive?" I ask Zac finally breaking the silence that has come over us the moment we got in the truck. "Why are you still alive?"
Zac laughs at my last question. It's bitter sounding so I know he doesn't take it well. "Would you rather me be dead Avery?"
Laughing myself I run a hand through my hair, "To be honest, yeah I would," I admit not feeling ashamed. "Because it would mean you hadn't lied to me or everyone else who loved you. That you and Taylor weren't assholes," I spit out feeling my anger start to sit in.
"I lied because no one wanted me Avery," Zac counters his words coming out equally as harsh. "Kate was divorcing me, the woman who ruined everything I loved to have me was leaving me and she was going to take my kids, one of which wasn't even hers. You, you had moved on too, I mean you made that apparent when you fucked Taylor and had me catch you. No one wanted me so I decided to give everyone what they wanted. A life without me."
Listening to him try to explain himself I feel myself getting more angry as he goes on, "I wanted you Zac," I tell him. "I wanted you. I only used Taylor to make you think I had moved on. I was just trying to abide by Kate's orders and leave because if I didn't she would have turned us in," I spit out feeling pissed now that I know that was a lie too. "I never stopped loving you though."
Zac laughs again at that, "If you never stopped loving me, then please explain how the hell you have a child with Taylor and why you are married to Carrick?" he whispers as he reaches for my hand with the wedding band on it. "The ring looks horrible on you by the way," he states before slipping it off my finger roughly. "It's cheap as hell," he says almost disgusted.
I'm about to reach over and take the ring from him but before I can he rolls down the window, throwing it out into the drive way. I guess he is showing me what he thinks of my marriage to Carrick.
Glaring I cross my arms, "I have a kid with Taylor because he comforted me at the cabin. We were both grieving your death," I start but then stop when I realize Taylor had nothing to grieve. He knew Zac wasn't dead. He had always known it seemed. "Or he was pretending to grieve your death," I frown feeling like a fool for the times at the cabin, even if I did get Bree out of those.
"Carrick, it was because he was there for me. He never judged me or at least he acted like he didn't. He helped me get Junia back," I smile knowing at least Carrick had done a few good things for me even if he had fucked me over in the end.
Zac goes silent at reasons for what he asked, "And you fucking Taylor since being back?" he asks as he leans in whispering that into my ear. "Did you think he wouldn't tell me about that? Why do you think I punched him?"
Shivering I close my eyes, "Because I'm a grown woman," I answer him my eyes opening. "I could do as pleased because I thought you were dead," I shrug my head turning to face him. "I kissed him today too for your information. Right before your blonde girlfriend showed up."
Watching Zac glare sends a shiver down my spine. "You wanna use your mouth for pissing me off?" he asks me so harshly. "How about using it for what it's good for," he smirks before I hear him unzip his pants. When I look down I see him bringing his hard cock out of the hole in his jeans were just moments ago his zipper had been.
I look back into his eyes knowing he is serious with his words and I also know I can't say no to him. I can't fucking tell him no even when I am mad at him.
Licking my lips I bend my head down, taking his cock in my mouth which gets me a few moans and his hand buried in my hair.
"Avery," Zac grunts out as I move my mouth on him slowly. "Fuck suck me harder," he whimpers but even then I know he isn't asking me, he is telling me so I do it.
While I am working him over with my mouth I hear my phone ring from the pocket of my pants. I know from the ringtone that it's Carrick.
Feeling Zac's hand move from my hair I soon feel it in my pocket. When he pulls the phone free I know he is going to answer it but I'm scared of what he will say.
"Carrick," Zac speaks into the receiver once he has hit talk. "Y..you want to talk to Avery?" he moans out as I slow my mouth down on his cock deliberately. "Well I hate to tell you but her mouth is being used for other purposes right now. I'm sure once she removes it from my dick she can call you back," he finishes speaking.
I hear him hit end and then I speed up my movements with my mouth again, my tongue gently brushing across his skin some. I hope he knows just because I am sucking his dick that he isn't off the hook. This is just me finally giving him what I was going to give him the night he brought me home from the bar.
Swallowing him when he comes, I move my head away a smirk playing in my lips now as he adjusts himself, "I hope you enjoyed that because I'm done with you," I tell him honestly. "You lied to me and I'm not sure I can get past that," I frown before getting out of his truck. "Enjoy your new life with Sadie as Sam."