Live In My Memory Chapter Thirteen
Days seem to pass quickly after Zac kills Carrick. So quickly that I wonder if I am living my life in fast forward. I haven't seen Zac since the night nor have I seen Taylor either which I think is weird because he has usually tried to see Bree every day or every other day.
"I wonder where your daddy is?" I ask Bree as I sit with her on the couch. Junia is over at my parents so for now it's just Bree and I. "I think I miss seeing your daddy so much," I reason feeling confused by that. I'm not supposed to miss seeing Taylor. I don't love Taylor even if I have found myself kissing him and having sex with him.
I mean I'm just used to seeing him that has to be the case. I have to just have been used to seeing him. I don't need another complication in my life. I really don't want another complication in my life.
"How about we go visit daddy," I smile at Bree before standing from the couch. Putting her on my hip I walk to her nursery to go and change her out of her pajamas and into something else. Something more suitable for a cold January day.
I'm not sure how Taylor will feel about an impromptu visit but then again it wouldn't have come to this if he hadn't stopped coming by lately. I wouldn't have to be surprising him like this just so he could see his daughter..our daughter. This visit was strictly for Brennan and not because of my own desires to see Taylor.
Picking Bree up once I have her changed, I leave the nursery and soon my apartment once I gather everything I will need. Putting Bree in my car I stand up and shut the door, nearly jumping when I come face to face with Sade when I turn around. I hadn't seen her since Christmas and I'm not even sure how the hell she knows where I live.
Sadie eyes me and I feel myself blush, "I followed Zac here the other day," she finally speaks obviously able to sense my confusion. "I just came to tell you that you aren't the only other person he has fucked that he is related too," she starts before looking down and pausing as if to contemplate her words.
I roll my eyes and walk to the driver's side of my car, "And just who else has he fucked?" I ask her wanting to laugh. Before she knew about me all she had known about sibling wise was Taylor. The thought of Zac and Taylor even having sex just makes me want to laugh. I mean obviously they both have a penchant for incest but I don't think either would have a penchant for sex with other men. Especially not after Zac caught Taylor and I before he faked his death.
"Taylor," Sadie answers me which makes me roll my eyes again. "I have pictures to back that claim up," she informs me and I turn, watching as she opens her purse to hand me three pictures.
Against my better judgement I take the pictures feeling sick as I look at the first one. It is Taylor going down on Zac. Switching to the second I feel even worse when I see Zac fucking Taylor from behind his hands firmly pulling on Taylors hair. In the third I just have to look away as I am faced with Taylor now fucking Zac.
"H...how..." I start unsure of what I want to ask. How can I even form words right now? I have been kept in the dark yet again about something by Taylor and Zac. "How did you get these?" I ask finally able to form a complete sentence.
Sadie shrugs a smirk playing on her perfect lips, "I had Zac followed," she nods. "I thought he was cheating on me so I had him followed and I got these pictures. I found it kind of hot he'd fuck his brother," she smirked more. "Just like I find it hot he fucked his sister."
Shaking my head I open the door to my car and get in. "You are a sick fuck," I tell Sadie before throwing the pictures in the empty passenger seat and slamming the door. Now I have even more of a reason to go to see Taylor. Now I can confront him about something..or a lot of things. All of his fucking lies which I have let him get away with.
Arriving at Taylor's house in record time I park my car and get out, quickly getting Bree as well before going walking onto the porch where I knock loud and furious. I want him to know this is important.
When he answers the door after what seems like forever to me I glare at him, moving Bree up on my hip. "You fucked Zac," I snap pushing my way inside the house. "You fucked Zac while he was supposed to be dead."
Taylor shuts the door, walking over to me. "Good morning to you as well Avie," he mutters as he takes Bree from my arms before I can even protest. "And I didn't fuck Zac," he lies to me with a damn straight face. How can he use a straight face to lie? Hell how can he even lie?
"I have proof," I admit taking Bree back from him. "And I didn't say you could hold her," I snap again knowing that it's a petty thing to get mad over but I am just going to be childish right now. "Sadie has pictures," I reveal shaking my head. "She showed up as I was leaving to come and see you. She showed me the pictures of him doing you from behind."
At my words Taylor sighs before taking Bree back, "Zac didn't tell me she had pictures," he says his words letting me know that he did indeed have sex with Zac. "And she's my daughter too Avery, I can hold her any time I want without asking you," he reasons turning his back to me as he heads towards the living room.
"Well she does, they are in my car," I tell him as I follow him towards the living room. "W..why did you sleep with him?" I ask feeling scared of the answer he will give me.
Taylor sits down on the couch, holding Bree in his lap, "I slept with him because things just happen sometimes Avery. H..he had came over one night when Natalie and the kids were out in Georgia visiting her brother. I was cooking and one thing lead to another. I guess he like you gets turned on when watching me cook."
I can't help but blush at Taylor's explanation, "But that wasn't the last time was it?" I ask before sitting down beside him on the couch a smile on my face as I watch Bree trying to kiss Taylor's cheek.
"No it wasn't," Taylor frowns as he holds Bree closer to him. "After that we started into a three month affair that ended a week before you came back home Avery."
Swallowing at his revelation I close my eyes, "You two were having an affair that lasted three month? What stopped it?" I ask curiously wondering why I keep asking questions. I mean it was curiousity that killed the cat. I am afraid if I keep going I will get killed from shock.
"I stopped it because I knew it wasn't right. Neither of us loved each other he was just lonely and missing you and I was just lonely period," he shrugs as if him being lonely is something that shouldn't be new but to me it is. How can he be so lonely when he has Natalie and the kids here? How can he be so lonely when he has so much?
"And Zac was okay with you stopping it?" I ask one more question deciding it will be my last one.
Taylor smiles as he locks eyes with me, "Of course he was okay with it Avery. He knew my reasons for ending it and he agreed with them."
I nod going silent. I am trying my best to digest everything that Taylor has told me but I am not sure I can digest it all in one day or even one month.
"So how come you were coming to see me?" Taylor asks breaking the silence with a question of his own.
"Bree missed you," I shrug not wanting to reveal that I too had missed him. "She got used to seeing you around almost every day and she missed you."
Taylor gives me a cocky smirk as he shakes his head, "Bree missed me huh?" he asks before looking down at Bree who has seemingly fallen asleep in his arms. "Did she tell you that in her baby talk?" he asks looking up at me again still smirking. "Or did you really miss me and decide to blame it on our daughter?"
Glaring at his obvious flirting I move away from him some, "I didn't miss you," I lie shaking my head.
"I missed you," Taylor whispers his voice going low and making me feel aroused. "N..Natalie is back in town though she is staying at her mom's. I was busy with her and the kids this week."
Hearing Natalie is back in town I can't help but feel guilty at getting aroused just a few minutes ago by Taylor. I know it's wrong to even want Taylor again. He is still married to Natalie and I know how well my last affair with one of my married brothers turned out, not to mention I am scared of what Zac would do if he finds out we had sex again.
"Is Natalie still pissed about Bree?" I ask him as he stands up from the couch.
"Of course she is," Taylor rolls his eyes as he looks down at me. "I'm going to go put her in the nursery upstairs," he nods. "I'll be back soon."
I nod my head briefly watching as he walks away. Once he is gone I chew my lip sitting back against the couch. I'm not sure what is wrong with me lately, why Taylor is having the ability to turn me on, why I miss him when he isn't around. Zac is back and I'm supposed to be wanting to jump back into his arms even if I like making him grovel and beg at my feet. I'm not supposed to be second guessing if maybe going or taking Zac back is wrong.
Standing from the couch I decide to go upstairs where I find Taylor still in the nursery watching Bree sleep. "She looks so much like you when she is asleep," I smile as I go to stand beside him.
"I think she looks like you," Taylor says as he moves closer to me. "Beautiful," he mutters before leaning over and kissing my cheek softly.
Closing my eyes briefly I swallow hard. "I missed you too," I tell him as I turn my head to look at him. I feel myself getting butterflies at how close his face still is to mine.
Taylor just nods his head as he inches his face closer to mine and before I can even have a chance to back away his lips are on mine. The kiss is much different then anyone we have shared before. It's slow and almost loving. Slowly I find myself responding, my body turning as I do so I can wrap my arms around his neck. I want to feel as much of him as I can right now.
The moment I have my arms around him Taylor's tongue finds it's way into my mouth though maybe I willingly let it in there I don't know. I also don't know how we seemingly find our way out of the nursery and into his bedroom without once breaking the kiss. It's like magic almost or really good fucking luck, especially for Taylor who is the clutz of the family.
Kissing him back I am brought back to the reality of things though the moment my back hits the bed. Pulling away I look up at him, "Zac," I mutter before biting my lip.
"Won't find out," Taylor tells me as he looks down into my eyes. "He won't find out."
I shake my head at his words, "I love him," I say trying to convince myself that my love for Zac should be enough to stop me from having sex with Taylor.
Taylor looks like he is pained by my words but he doesn't say anything about them that would show it, instead he just shakes his head. "I know you do," he whispers before kissing me again.
Closing my eyes I kiss him back again, letting my hands slide under the shirt he has on. My doing so causes him to shiver and moan. I like knowing that I can make him moan like that, that I can make him turned on.
Deepening the kiss I let my hips move up into his a smirk crossing my lips when I feel his erection through his jeans. "Did I do that?" I ask into his mouth, flipping us over so I am on top. I want to be on top this time. I want to be the one in control of things. I want to dominate Taylor.
"Of course you did that," Taylor answers back as he pulls away from the kiss and pulls my top over my head. Once it's off I reach behind me, unclasping my bra soon letting it go to the floor with my shirt.
"I want this," I tell Taylor before kissing him again and it's the truth. I do want this even if I love Zac. I want to be here right now having sex with Taylor.
Taylor smirks on my lips as he kisses me more, his hands going towards my breast which causes me to moan. I keep moaning as he finds one of my nipples and starts to play with it, getting me wetter than I already was. "Fuck," I groan out as my hips move down into his. "Fucking hell."
Moving away from the kiss I reach down undoing the buttons on his shirt, pushing it off him once it is unbuttoned. I can't help but smile when I see he has shaved his chest. "I like," I tell him as I run my hands down his bare chest, my lips soon moving down to kiss the places my hands had just been.
"Ave," Taylor moans out pushing his hips up as my kisses keep getting closer to the waistband of his jeans.
Smirking I pull away right as I reach them, "Now...what should I do with these?" I ask as I let my finger run across the waistband of his jeans, chewing on my lip as if I really have to think about the answer to that question. When Taylor glares at me I just laugh before unzipping his pants, sliding them off of him along with his boxers.
I reach for his hands after that wanting him to finish undressing me which he does. He does it quicker that Zac ever has which makes me laugh again before I lean down to kiss him. "I'm in control now," I say to him as I hover over his cock which just makes him whimper. "I chose how fast or slow we go."
Taylor nods his head and I hope that is his way of agreeing with me. If not then oh well. "Yes master," he whimpers out playfully.
"I am your master," I agree as I slowly slide down on him a moan finding it's way out as he fills me up. It's been almost a month since he was last inside of me and I swear he feels much better than the last time.
Before I can start moving on him though I hear the bedroom door burst open and hands grabbing my hair roughly. I can't help but panic even though I am almost sure I know who it is.
"Keep your hands off of my woman," Zac's voice sounds from behind me as his grip on my hair tightens. "Mine," he snarls before turning me around and leading me out of the room. "I can't believe that fucking bastard," he continues talking as he walks me down the hall towards the guest bedroom. "Trying to fuck you when he knows I'd be back. He was the one who offered to let me stay in the guest bedroom after I left the motel I had been staying at."
When we reach the guest bedroom I jump some as Zac slams the door obviously with his foot because the hand in my hair doesn't move and I can see from the corner of my eyes his other hand going down out of my sight and soon coming back up.
Turning my head slightly I freeze when I see that in his other hand he is now holding a gun which he is pointing right at my head.
Days seem to pass quickly after Zac kills Carrick. So quickly that I wonder if I am living my life in fast forward. I haven't seen Zac since the night nor have I seen Taylor either which I think is weird because he has usually tried to see Bree every day or every other day.
"I wonder where your daddy is?" I ask Bree as I sit with her on the couch. Junia is over at my parents so for now it's just Bree and I. "I think I miss seeing your daddy so much," I reason feeling confused by that. I'm not supposed to miss seeing Taylor. I don't love Taylor even if I have found myself kissing him and having sex with him.
I mean I'm just used to seeing him that has to be the case. I have to just have been used to seeing him. I don't need another complication in my life. I really don't want another complication in my life.
"How about we go visit daddy," I smile at Bree before standing from the couch. Putting her on my hip I walk to her nursery to go and change her out of her pajamas and into something else. Something more suitable for a cold January day.
I'm not sure how Taylor will feel about an impromptu visit but then again it wouldn't have come to this if he hadn't stopped coming by lately. I wouldn't have to be surprising him like this just so he could see his daughter..our daughter. This visit was strictly for Brennan and not because of my own desires to see Taylor.
Picking Bree up once I have her changed, I leave the nursery and soon my apartment once I gather everything I will need. Putting Bree in my car I stand up and shut the door, nearly jumping when I come face to face with Sade when I turn around. I hadn't seen her since Christmas and I'm not even sure how the hell she knows where I live.
Sadie eyes me and I feel myself blush, "I followed Zac here the other day," she finally speaks obviously able to sense my confusion. "I just came to tell you that you aren't the only other person he has fucked that he is related too," she starts before looking down and pausing as if to contemplate her words.
I roll my eyes and walk to the driver's side of my car, "And just who else has he fucked?" I ask her wanting to laugh. Before she knew about me all she had known about sibling wise was Taylor. The thought of Zac and Taylor even having sex just makes me want to laugh. I mean obviously they both have a penchant for incest but I don't think either would have a penchant for sex with other men. Especially not after Zac caught Taylor and I before he faked his death.
"Taylor," Sadie answers me which makes me roll my eyes again. "I have pictures to back that claim up," she informs me and I turn, watching as she opens her purse to hand me three pictures.
Against my better judgement I take the pictures feeling sick as I look at the first one. It is Taylor going down on Zac. Switching to the second I feel even worse when I see Zac fucking Taylor from behind his hands firmly pulling on Taylors hair. In the third I just have to look away as I am faced with Taylor now fucking Zac.
"H...how..." I start unsure of what I want to ask. How can I even form words right now? I have been kept in the dark yet again about something by Taylor and Zac. "How did you get these?" I ask finally able to form a complete sentence.
Sadie shrugs a smirk playing on her perfect lips, "I had Zac followed," she nods. "I thought he was cheating on me so I had him followed and I got these pictures. I found it kind of hot he'd fuck his brother," she smirked more. "Just like I find it hot he fucked his sister."
Shaking my head I open the door to my car and get in. "You are a sick fuck," I tell Sadie before throwing the pictures in the empty passenger seat and slamming the door. Now I have even more of a reason to go to see Taylor. Now I can confront him about something..or a lot of things. All of his fucking lies which I have let him get away with.
Arriving at Taylor's house in record time I park my car and get out, quickly getting Bree as well before going walking onto the porch where I knock loud and furious. I want him to know this is important.
When he answers the door after what seems like forever to me I glare at him, moving Bree up on my hip. "You fucked Zac," I snap pushing my way inside the house. "You fucked Zac while he was supposed to be dead."
Taylor shuts the door, walking over to me. "Good morning to you as well Avie," he mutters as he takes Bree from my arms before I can even protest. "And I didn't fuck Zac," he lies to me with a damn straight face. How can he use a straight face to lie? Hell how can he even lie?
"I have proof," I admit taking Bree back from him. "And I didn't say you could hold her," I snap again knowing that it's a petty thing to get mad over but I am just going to be childish right now. "Sadie has pictures," I reveal shaking my head. "She showed up as I was leaving to come and see you. She showed me the pictures of him doing you from behind."
At my words Taylor sighs before taking Bree back, "Zac didn't tell me she had pictures," he says his words letting me know that he did indeed have sex with Zac. "And she's my daughter too Avery, I can hold her any time I want without asking you," he reasons turning his back to me as he heads towards the living room.
"Well she does, they are in my car," I tell him as I follow him towards the living room. "W..why did you sleep with him?" I ask feeling scared of the answer he will give me.
Taylor sits down on the couch, holding Bree in his lap, "I slept with him because things just happen sometimes Avery. H..he had came over one night when Natalie and the kids were out in Georgia visiting her brother. I was cooking and one thing lead to another. I guess he like you gets turned on when watching me cook."
I can't help but blush at Taylor's explanation, "But that wasn't the last time was it?" I ask before sitting down beside him on the couch a smile on my face as I watch Bree trying to kiss Taylor's cheek.
"No it wasn't," Taylor frowns as he holds Bree closer to him. "After that we started into a three month affair that ended a week before you came back home Avery."
Swallowing at his revelation I close my eyes, "You two were having an affair that lasted three month? What stopped it?" I ask curiously wondering why I keep asking questions. I mean it was curiousity that killed the cat. I am afraid if I keep going I will get killed from shock.
"I stopped it because I knew it wasn't right. Neither of us loved each other he was just lonely and missing you and I was just lonely period," he shrugs as if him being lonely is something that shouldn't be new but to me it is. How can he be so lonely when he has Natalie and the kids here? How can he be so lonely when he has so much?
"And Zac was okay with you stopping it?" I ask one more question deciding it will be my last one.
Taylor smiles as he locks eyes with me, "Of course he was okay with it Avery. He knew my reasons for ending it and he agreed with them."
I nod going silent. I am trying my best to digest everything that Taylor has told me but I am not sure I can digest it all in one day or even one month.
"So how come you were coming to see me?" Taylor asks breaking the silence with a question of his own.
"Bree missed you," I shrug not wanting to reveal that I too had missed him. "She got used to seeing you around almost every day and she missed you."
Taylor gives me a cocky smirk as he shakes his head, "Bree missed me huh?" he asks before looking down at Bree who has seemingly fallen asleep in his arms. "Did she tell you that in her baby talk?" he asks looking up at me again still smirking. "Or did you really miss me and decide to blame it on our daughter?"
Glaring at his obvious flirting I move away from him some, "I didn't miss you," I lie shaking my head.
"I missed you," Taylor whispers his voice going low and making me feel aroused. "N..Natalie is back in town though she is staying at her mom's. I was busy with her and the kids this week."
Hearing Natalie is back in town I can't help but feel guilty at getting aroused just a few minutes ago by Taylor. I know it's wrong to even want Taylor again. He is still married to Natalie and I know how well my last affair with one of my married brothers turned out, not to mention I am scared of what Zac would do if he finds out we had sex again.
"Is Natalie still pissed about Bree?" I ask him as he stands up from the couch.
"Of course she is," Taylor rolls his eyes as he looks down at me. "I'm going to go put her in the nursery upstairs," he nods. "I'll be back soon."
I nod my head briefly watching as he walks away. Once he is gone I chew my lip sitting back against the couch. I'm not sure what is wrong with me lately, why Taylor is having the ability to turn me on, why I miss him when he isn't around. Zac is back and I'm supposed to be wanting to jump back into his arms even if I like making him grovel and beg at my feet. I'm not supposed to be second guessing if maybe going or taking Zac back is wrong.
Standing from the couch I decide to go upstairs where I find Taylor still in the nursery watching Bree sleep. "She looks so much like you when she is asleep," I smile as I go to stand beside him.
"I think she looks like you," Taylor says as he moves closer to me. "Beautiful," he mutters before leaning over and kissing my cheek softly.
Closing my eyes briefly I swallow hard. "I missed you too," I tell him as I turn my head to look at him. I feel myself getting butterflies at how close his face still is to mine.
Taylor just nods his head as he inches his face closer to mine and before I can even have a chance to back away his lips are on mine. The kiss is much different then anyone we have shared before. It's slow and almost loving. Slowly I find myself responding, my body turning as I do so I can wrap my arms around his neck. I want to feel as much of him as I can right now.
The moment I have my arms around him Taylor's tongue finds it's way into my mouth though maybe I willingly let it in there I don't know. I also don't know how we seemingly find our way out of the nursery and into his bedroom without once breaking the kiss. It's like magic almost or really good fucking luck, especially for Taylor who is the clutz of the family.
Kissing him back I am brought back to the reality of things though the moment my back hits the bed. Pulling away I look up at him, "Zac," I mutter before biting my lip.
"Won't find out," Taylor tells me as he looks down into my eyes. "He won't find out."
I shake my head at his words, "I love him," I say trying to convince myself that my love for Zac should be enough to stop me from having sex with Taylor.
Taylor looks like he is pained by my words but he doesn't say anything about them that would show it, instead he just shakes his head. "I know you do," he whispers before kissing me again.
Closing my eyes I kiss him back again, letting my hands slide under the shirt he has on. My doing so causes him to shiver and moan. I like knowing that I can make him moan like that, that I can make him turned on.
Deepening the kiss I let my hips move up into his a smirk crossing my lips when I feel his erection through his jeans. "Did I do that?" I ask into his mouth, flipping us over so I am on top. I want to be on top this time. I want to be the one in control of things. I want to dominate Taylor.
"Of course you did that," Taylor answers back as he pulls away from the kiss and pulls my top over my head. Once it's off I reach behind me, unclasping my bra soon letting it go to the floor with my shirt.
"I want this," I tell Taylor before kissing him again and it's the truth. I do want this even if I love Zac. I want to be here right now having sex with Taylor.
Taylor smirks on my lips as he kisses me more, his hands going towards my breast which causes me to moan. I keep moaning as he finds one of my nipples and starts to play with it, getting me wetter than I already was. "Fuck," I groan out as my hips move down into his. "Fucking hell."
Moving away from the kiss I reach down undoing the buttons on his shirt, pushing it off him once it is unbuttoned. I can't help but smile when I see he has shaved his chest. "I like," I tell him as I run my hands down his bare chest, my lips soon moving down to kiss the places my hands had just been.
"Ave," Taylor moans out pushing his hips up as my kisses keep getting closer to the waistband of his jeans.
Smirking I pull away right as I reach them, "Now...what should I do with these?" I ask as I let my finger run across the waistband of his jeans, chewing on my lip as if I really have to think about the answer to that question. When Taylor glares at me I just laugh before unzipping his pants, sliding them off of him along with his boxers.
I reach for his hands after that wanting him to finish undressing me which he does. He does it quicker that Zac ever has which makes me laugh again before I lean down to kiss him. "I'm in control now," I say to him as I hover over his cock which just makes him whimper. "I chose how fast or slow we go."
Taylor nods his head and I hope that is his way of agreeing with me. If not then oh well. "Yes master," he whimpers out playfully.
"I am your master," I agree as I slowly slide down on him a moan finding it's way out as he fills me up. It's been almost a month since he was last inside of me and I swear he feels much better than the last time.
Before I can start moving on him though I hear the bedroom door burst open and hands grabbing my hair roughly. I can't help but panic even though I am almost sure I know who it is.
"Keep your hands off of my woman," Zac's voice sounds from behind me as his grip on my hair tightens. "Mine," he snarls before turning me around and leading me out of the room. "I can't believe that fucking bastard," he continues talking as he walks me down the hall towards the guest bedroom. "Trying to fuck you when he knows I'd be back. He was the one who offered to let me stay in the guest bedroom after I left the motel I had been staying at."
When we reach the guest bedroom I jump some as Zac slams the door obviously with his foot because the hand in my hair doesn't move and I can see from the corner of my eyes his other hand going down out of my sight and soon coming back up.
Turning my head slightly I freeze when I see that in his other hand he is now holding a gun which he is pointing right at my head.