Live In My Memory Chapter Twenty-Six
Two days after my near death I am allowed to go home as I am doing well enough for the doctors and Milo is also doing well. Zac is the one who offers to drive and Taylor somehow decides to come back home with us. I know Zac and I talked about where Taylor stood in our lives but I couldn't help but wonder if during my time in limbo with Carrick if Zac hadn't told Taylor.
I wouldn't be mad at Zac if he had. Taylor needed to know that Zac and I both wanted him this relationship too that we both loved him and needed him as much as he hopefully needed us.
Looking over at Taylor who is sitting beside me in the backseat I smile when he turns to look at me, "I like having you here," I tell him before laying my head on his shoulder. "It's nice."
"It's nice to be here," Taylor says as he kisses my forehead. "Zac told me about your plans," he whispers confirming what I suspected. Zac told him that we both wanted him and needed him as well. It's still true too. I want Taylor in my life as much as I want Zac. I need Taylor as much as I need Zac.
Looking up at him I smile, "And you want to be with us?" I ask him though I hope his answer is clear by him being here in the car as Zac drives me home. I hope him being here means that he has accepted what Zac told him and that he wants us as much as we want him.
"I do," Taylor nods as he locks eyes with me. "I want you Avery and I want Zac too. I love you both so much. I love you both more than I ever loved Natalie."
I can't help but smile more at his words. He loves us both. He loves us more than he has ever loved his ex-wife. "We love you too," I whisper as I look away from him and close my eyes. I must have been sleepy because the next thing I know is being woken up by Taylor when we arrive home, though he isn't telling me to get up. Instead he is carrying me inside himself.
I must have gone back to sleep because I am not awoken again until it's dark and I hear Milo crying. Getting out of the bed I look at Taylor who must have fallen asleep beside me. I give his sleeping form a smile before sleeping out of bed and the room.
When I make it to Milo's nursery I stop at the door as I see Zac sitting in the rocking chair holding our son. He doesn't see me yet as his eyes are trained on the baby boy in his arms. The baby that resembles what he looked like as a child though I think Milo's eyes are the same shade of brown as mine and not Zac's brown.
"You need to be quite baby boy," Zac speaks as he keeps his eyes trained on Milo. "You are going to wake your sisters, brother, and mommy up. They all need the rest."
Of course Milo doesn't reply back to him which makes me chuckle some as I step into the room. "I am already awake," I speak letting Zac know he isn't alone. "His crying did wake me up but I think Junia and Bree are still out. Shepherd probably is too as he can sleep through anything."
Zac looks up at me and nods, "Shep can sleep through anything," he laughs as he watches me walker closer to him. "I think the girls can too honestly."
I shrug as I look down at Milo who is just looking up at Zac, "They get it from their Uncle Taylor, I mean Taylor slept through Milo's cries," I laugh before bending down and taking Milo out of his arms. It's after I do that, that Zac moves from the rocking chair and I sit down now.
"It's hard to believe we have another baby," I state still in shock. "Or that you are even still alive."
Zac just gives me a tiny grin but I can see the guilt on his face. He still hates himself for faking his death. "I'm sorry I did that you know," he says repeating what he has told me ever since we got back together. "I'm sorry I made you hurt like that."
"I forgive you," I tell him much like I have done before. "Anyway if you hadn't done that then I wouldn't have Brennan. I like having her and without her neither of us would have Taylor," I shrug knowing Bree was part of the reason we have Taylor in our relationship now.
Zac sighs as if he doesn't believe my words but he doesn't try to go against them. Instead he chews on his lip as if he is debating on saying something. "Are you mad I told Taylor of our plans before you woke up?" he asks finally breaking the silence. I should have known that question was coming though.
Looking away from Milo I shake my head no, "Why would I be mad?" I ask him. I am confused on why he would think I was mad. We were going to tell Taylor anyway but things got hectic. Zac didn't have to wait for me. It was just as much his news to deliver too and he had every right to do it without me being present for it.
"Because you might have changed your mind," Zac answers and his answer does make sense to me in a way but I feel as if he should know I hadn't nor wouldn't change my mind no matter what.
"I didn't change my mind though," I assure him before looking back down at Milo. "I want Taylor and I want you. Together all of us can be one big happy family."
Zac nods at my answer seeming satisfied. He doesn't even say anything else he just turns and walks out the door probably to go join Taylor in bed. I hope he does because God knows he could need the rest too. I know ever since my near death experience that he hasn't been sleeping well, always staying with me at the hospital as if he was afraid I would slip away again.
Once Milo is back to sleep in my arms I stand from the rocking chair and put him in the crib before leaving the nursery, leaving the door cracked. Going down the hall I head into the bedroom where I lay down beside Zac. As I lay down I can hear both him and Taylor snoring which makes me laugh to myself softly.
"What have I gotten myself into?" I ask before closing my eyes. The question isn't just meant for now it's meant in general. What have I gotten myself into? It's an answer I don't have but one I hope to have eventually when I am old and grey and hopefully on my deathbed. Hopefully then will things make sense.
Yawning I curl closer to Zac and soon drift off. I know things started off rocky when I came back to Tulsa but now things seem in place. Things seem to be how they should. Everyone is finally happy and for now that's all that seems to matter.
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"How is mom doing?" I ask as I eye my baby sister Bree. "Milo isn't sure if he can make it here in time."
Bree turns to look at me her red hair hanging in her eyes some, "She keeps going in and out of consciousness," she frowns holding onto our mom's frail hand. Mom had been sick for months now. She had gotten bad after daddy died. She had been in bad health since before Uncle Taylor died but daddy dying that's what did her in or so I believe.
"At least she'll finally be with them," I frown as well sitting in the chair beside Bree. "She'll be with both the men she loved, both the men she created a family with."
Bree chews on her lip, "She keeps talking to Uncle Zac as if he is really here. She keeps telling him she'll join him soon," she sighs as she shakes her head. "It's him she'll be with not my daddy."
I roll my eyes shaking my head. Bree has never believed that our mama ever loved her daddy as much as she did mine and Milo's but I know she did. I know she loved him just as much. Looking away from Bree as I hear the door open I smile when I see Shepherd coming in carrying coffee for everyone.
"I'm glad you are here Shep," I tell him before taking my coffee. "I mean you didn't have to be here she wasn't your mom."
"She wasn't my mom but she was the closest to it after mine died and daddy loved her so much. He'd want me here in her final hours," Shepherd speaks before handing Bree her coffee. "Is Milo going to make it?"
I shrug before taking a sip from my coffee, "He is trying his best. He says his plane just landed. I hope she can hold on that long," I whisper before watching as my mom opens her eyes and stares ahead looking at something unseen on the wall.
"They are here," she smiles before looking at Bree and I. "Both of your daddies are here to take me home," she whispers a huge grin on her face as her eyes move towards the door and I turn my head seeing Milo standing there.
I can't say anything back because before I know it the room is filled with the heart monitor's beeping slowing down and before I know it mom is gone. Mom is dead and I know that she is at peace. She was taken home by both of her soul mates.
Two days after my near death I am allowed to go home as I am doing well enough for the doctors and Milo is also doing well. Zac is the one who offers to drive and Taylor somehow decides to come back home with us. I know Zac and I talked about where Taylor stood in our lives but I couldn't help but wonder if during my time in limbo with Carrick if Zac hadn't told Taylor.
I wouldn't be mad at Zac if he had. Taylor needed to know that Zac and I both wanted him this relationship too that we both loved him and needed him as much as he hopefully needed us.
Looking over at Taylor who is sitting beside me in the backseat I smile when he turns to look at me, "I like having you here," I tell him before laying my head on his shoulder. "It's nice."
"It's nice to be here," Taylor says as he kisses my forehead. "Zac told me about your plans," he whispers confirming what I suspected. Zac told him that we both wanted him and needed him as well. It's still true too. I want Taylor in my life as much as I want Zac. I need Taylor as much as I need Zac.
Looking up at him I smile, "And you want to be with us?" I ask him though I hope his answer is clear by him being here in the car as Zac drives me home. I hope him being here means that he has accepted what Zac told him and that he wants us as much as we want him.
"I do," Taylor nods as he locks eyes with me. "I want you Avery and I want Zac too. I love you both so much. I love you both more than I ever loved Natalie."
I can't help but smile more at his words. He loves us both. He loves us more than he has ever loved his ex-wife. "We love you too," I whisper as I look away from him and close my eyes. I must have been sleepy because the next thing I know is being woken up by Taylor when we arrive home, though he isn't telling me to get up. Instead he is carrying me inside himself.
I must have gone back to sleep because I am not awoken again until it's dark and I hear Milo crying. Getting out of the bed I look at Taylor who must have fallen asleep beside me. I give his sleeping form a smile before sleeping out of bed and the room.
When I make it to Milo's nursery I stop at the door as I see Zac sitting in the rocking chair holding our son. He doesn't see me yet as his eyes are trained on the baby boy in his arms. The baby that resembles what he looked like as a child though I think Milo's eyes are the same shade of brown as mine and not Zac's brown.
"You need to be quite baby boy," Zac speaks as he keeps his eyes trained on Milo. "You are going to wake your sisters, brother, and mommy up. They all need the rest."
Of course Milo doesn't reply back to him which makes me chuckle some as I step into the room. "I am already awake," I speak letting Zac know he isn't alone. "His crying did wake me up but I think Junia and Bree are still out. Shepherd probably is too as he can sleep through anything."
Zac looks up at me and nods, "Shep can sleep through anything," he laughs as he watches me walker closer to him. "I think the girls can too honestly."
I shrug as I look down at Milo who is just looking up at Zac, "They get it from their Uncle Taylor, I mean Taylor slept through Milo's cries," I laugh before bending down and taking Milo out of his arms. It's after I do that, that Zac moves from the rocking chair and I sit down now.
"It's hard to believe we have another baby," I state still in shock. "Or that you are even still alive."
Zac just gives me a tiny grin but I can see the guilt on his face. He still hates himself for faking his death. "I'm sorry I did that you know," he says repeating what he has told me ever since we got back together. "I'm sorry I made you hurt like that."
"I forgive you," I tell him much like I have done before. "Anyway if you hadn't done that then I wouldn't have Brennan. I like having her and without her neither of us would have Taylor," I shrug knowing Bree was part of the reason we have Taylor in our relationship now.
Zac sighs as if he doesn't believe my words but he doesn't try to go against them. Instead he chews on his lip as if he is debating on saying something. "Are you mad I told Taylor of our plans before you woke up?" he asks finally breaking the silence. I should have known that question was coming though.
Looking away from Milo I shake my head no, "Why would I be mad?" I ask him. I am confused on why he would think I was mad. We were going to tell Taylor anyway but things got hectic. Zac didn't have to wait for me. It was just as much his news to deliver too and he had every right to do it without me being present for it.
"Because you might have changed your mind," Zac answers and his answer does make sense to me in a way but I feel as if he should know I hadn't nor wouldn't change my mind no matter what.
"I didn't change my mind though," I assure him before looking back down at Milo. "I want Taylor and I want you. Together all of us can be one big happy family."
Zac nods at my answer seeming satisfied. He doesn't even say anything else he just turns and walks out the door probably to go join Taylor in bed. I hope he does because God knows he could need the rest too. I know ever since my near death experience that he hasn't been sleeping well, always staying with me at the hospital as if he was afraid I would slip away again.
Once Milo is back to sleep in my arms I stand from the rocking chair and put him in the crib before leaving the nursery, leaving the door cracked. Going down the hall I head into the bedroom where I lay down beside Zac. As I lay down I can hear both him and Taylor snoring which makes me laugh to myself softly.
"What have I gotten myself into?" I ask before closing my eyes. The question isn't just meant for now it's meant in general. What have I gotten myself into? It's an answer I don't have but one I hope to have eventually when I am old and grey and hopefully on my deathbed. Hopefully then will things make sense.
Yawning I curl closer to Zac and soon drift off. I know things started off rocky when I came back to Tulsa but now things seem in place. Things seem to be how they should. Everyone is finally happy and for now that's all that seems to matter.
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"How is mom doing?" I ask as I eye my baby sister Bree. "Milo isn't sure if he can make it here in time."
Bree turns to look at me her red hair hanging in her eyes some, "She keeps going in and out of consciousness," she frowns holding onto our mom's frail hand. Mom had been sick for months now. She had gotten bad after daddy died. She had been in bad health since before Uncle Taylor died but daddy dying that's what did her in or so I believe.
"At least she'll finally be with them," I frown as well sitting in the chair beside Bree. "She'll be with both the men she loved, both the men she created a family with."
Bree chews on her lip, "She keeps talking to Uncle Zac as if he is really here. She keeps telling him she'll join him soon," she sighs as she shakes her head. "It's him she'll be with not my daddy."
I roll my eyes shaking my head. Bree has never believed that our mama ever loved her daddy as much as she did mine and Milo's but I know she did. I know she loved him just as much. Looking away from Bree as I hear the door open I smile when I see Shepherd coming in carrying coffee for everyone.
"I'm glad you are here Shep," I tell him before taking my coffee. "I mean you didn't have to be here she wasn't your mom."
"She wasn't my mom but she was the closest to it after mine died and daddy loved her so much. He'd want me here in her final hours," Shepherd speaks before handing Bree her coffee. "Is Milo going to make it?"
I shrug before taking a sip from my coffee, "He is trying his best. He says his plane just landed. I hope she can hold on that long," I whisper before watching as my mom opens her eyes and stares ahead looking at something unseen on the wall.
"They are here," she smiles before looking at Bree and I. "Both of your daddies are here to take me home," she whispers a huge grin on her face as her eyes move towards the door and I turn my head seeing Milo standing there.
I can't say anything back because before I know it the room is filled with the heart monitor's beeping slowing down and before I know it mom is gone. Mom is dead and I know that she is at peace. She was taken home by both of her soul mates.